It’s been proven time and time again that in the real world, it’s Emotional Intelligence (EQ) that’s more important to success in life, rather than possessing a high IQ. Those having a high EQ measurement, has the ability to mindfully be aware of any situation surrounding them and will generally act accordingly. This allows these individuals to adapt to life crisis more maturely.
Emotional Intelligence is the ability to function properly in any and all social or work related situations. The mindfulness to understand, comprehend, manage and react efficiently. The ability to concisely communicate ones thoughts precisely.
When it comes to employment readiness and performance, this according to the various Employment Talent Agencies surveyed, those who display better overall work performance will generally possess higher EQ.
Those who are constantly out of work, or are underachievers in society usually have a lower EQ.
Emotional Intelligence is the key to managing the development, the formation and the maintenance of adapting to close and personal relationships.
Unlike Intelligence Quotient (IQ), which is pretty much stagnant or may even drop during one’s lifetime, EQ can increase and evolve over time provided there’s the desire to do so.
5 Ways To Improve Emotional Intelligence
1.) – Knowing And Managing Your Negative Emotions
One of the key structures of gaining control and developing higher EQ, is to effectively manage your negative emotions and outbursts.
Whatever makes you moody, arrogant, or having that sudden temper tantrum, this usually at the most inopportune times, is a correction you need to make.
What negative emotion does, is it will overwhelm as well as affect your true judgment.
So to feel better about yourself, what needs to be altered is how you think and approach your erratic reaction.
Key in and learn the methods on how you can identity and eliminate these negative feelings.
This begins with examining the very nature and root of your negative experiences, and then relating it in a way to effectively reduce or eliminate that bad emotion.
2.) – Stay Cool And Calm Under Pressure
There are always certain levels of stress we experience on a daily basis, as things don’t always go as planned. What it comes down to is how we manage this stress, which makes all the difference.
Do you respond by becoming assertive or reactive?
When we are under pressure, it’s important to remind ourselves to be as calm and calculating as possible, by mindfully thinking on our feet.
• If you’re feeling upset or mad at someone, before you say something you might regret, take a step back and take a deep breath. If the situation is toxic, start counting from 10 to 1 backwards.
In the majority of circumstances, by the time you reach 1, you’ll most likely and hopefully have decided on a better method of dealing with the issue.
Find a solution which will diffuse the situation rather than escalating it higher. If you find yourself still upset, then turn your back and rethink the situation at a later date once you’ve calmed down.
• If you’re feeling a little anxious or nervous, literally try splashing a bit of cold water on your face, or go outdoors and take a few deep breaths for a few minutes, as fresh air will do a world of good.
Cooling down your internal temperature will usually reduce your anxiety levels. During tense times, avoid drinking coffee or alcohol, which can increase your nervousness.
• If you’re feeling discouraged, depressed, failure or fear, try some type of cardio exercise such as aerobics, biking or jogging. This will inject oxygen into your body and brain while making you feel and become energized.
The way you treat your body affects how you feel. What motion does is it dictates your overall emotional state. So once you revitalize your body, then your confidence and energy should return.
• If feeling confused, overwhelmed, or uninspired, the best solution can also be going outdoors. The fresh crisp air will clear your mind without fail. So go take a walk around the block, at the park or near a lake, and surround yourself with what mother nature has to offer.
When walking, make sure you look as far into the horizon as possible while taking deep soothing breaths. This will empty out your mind and replace it with a different perspective.
3.) – Reading And Reacting To Social Cues
Individuals who display high EQ are usually more accurate in perceiving and interpreting the emotional cues of others, along with controlling their own physical and verbal expressions.
They also know when and how to communicate effectively, by stopping and clarifying the intentions or mood of others if they are unclear. The key is to improve your social acuity.
• When you come across an expression you don’t understand or seen before, you should immediately interpret its meaning before you assume anything.
For instance, you phone someone and they don’t immediately return your call. You instantly assume that the person is ignoring you, instead of thinking that the person might actually be busy.
Once you avoid judging other people’s behavior, you can then perceive their actions more objectively. People will usually do whatever they need to do for themselves first, before they do something for you. So widening your perspective on others usually reduces the potential of misunderstanding.
• Always seek clarification if you’re unsure. If required, just ask the person in question to clarify on why they’re behaving in a certain way.
Begin by asking generic open ended questions such as: “I’m just wondering, can you tell me why….” Make sure that you ask without being judgmental. Listen to what they say and see if it fits their body language. Do they align?
4.) – Be Assertive While Being Emotionally Strong
There are certain situations when it becomes important to set boundaries, so others will know exactly where they and everyone else stands.
This includes outright disagreeing. You need to say “no” at times, and do so without feeling guilt. Always protect yourself from harm while setting your own priorities.
When doing so, avoid using sentences or words which begin with “You” and followed by some type of judgment, such as “you should” or “you are…”
Using “you” then followed by these types of directives will usually make the person defensive, while making them less likely to listen to what you have to say.
5.) – The Ability To Be Intimate
The ability to express intimate expression towards others can be viewed as a method of positive connection, between two individuals who are wanting a closer relationship.
Those who have high EQ, will constantly express positive affection towards those they like, when speaking to them.
For instance, develop the ability to say to someone you like:
• “How are you feeling?”
• “I really appreciate you”
• “I’m really glad that we’re spending this time together”
• “You’re my best friend”
• “I love you”
They are all excellent examples of displaying a mature level of EQ.
Other signals include displaying proper body language, genuine non-darting eye contact, smiling, patting ones back or arm around the shoulder area.