How To Flush Out The Truth During The Negotiating Process

What most will associate negotiating with, is some type of transaction, usually involving money for goods exchanged. Realize everything you do on a daily basis is a negotiation. Agreeing to pick up the kids from school, or what time you agree to have dinner this evening, you’re negotiating.

Negotiating becomes necessary when you’re looking for a used car, or looking at a house you’re interested in buying.

What you first need to know is if there’s any defects that exists if they’re not visible, for instance. You need to rely on the sellers word to disclose any deficits.

What we know however is people has a tendency to lie, usually to cover any faults if they exist, by pleading ignorance.

It’s constantly “Buyer beware.” The burden of discovery remains on the buyer, to flush out the truth, before any money changes hands.

Get Them On Your Side

What sellers have is a difficult time lying to those who they like. So what you need is to build rapport with them, the very instance you meet them for the first time, and get them on your side.

Rapport building techniques can include immediate physical cues such as a warm smile, slight tilt of the head, or a friendly handshake. These nonverbal actions are considered “friend” signals.

A subtle eyebrow flash, moving the eyebrows rapidly up and down which usually lasts a split second, or approaching someone with a quick friendly handshake, shows them you’re not a threat.

What slightly tilting the head does is exposes the carotid artery, which subconsciously signals you trust the other person, as you’re exposing a vulnerable part of the body.

What a quick smile does is releases endorphins, which makes everyone feel better.

I Kind Of Like You

The golden rule is to make someone like you, because it instantly makes them feel better about themselves. Doing so just takes a few seconds, and it begins with nonverbal displays.

Sellers tend to give better deals, or will tell the truth more often to those they like.

If possible, meet several times to reinforce rapport, which increases the odds of getting a better deal or flushing out the truth.

Find Something In Common

Finding common ground can be easy when negotiating on something. Both parties already have something in common, as both have interest in the mutual transaction of the item.

If you’re wanting to buy a used car, deflect the seller into a conversation about their favourite cars in general, or other shared interests. Talk about the history of cars, the cars you previously owned, etc.

Initially avoid asking any detailed questions regarding the car for sale, until basic rapport has been established, and the seller likes you.

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Ask Questions Which Are Direct

Sellers become more reluctant to commit lies of omission, versus telling lies of commission.

What this refers to is if you don’t ask the seller direct questions, they’ll conveniently avoid faults by omitting certain information.

But if you’re direct and on point, then they’re required to deliberately lie to hide the faults. What having to lie does is makes most feel uncomfortable.

For instance, rather than asking, “Is this a good car?” be more direct by asking, “Does this car have any mechanical issues?”

Force Word Qualifiers

What asking blunt yes or no questions does, is it forces a direct yes or no answer.

If the seller doesn’t answer with a “Yes” or a “No,” then they need to scramble by using word qualifiers, to give the illusion they’re telling the truth, by modifying the question.

Equivocating isn’t a “Yes” or “No” answer, but instead a hedge on the truth. The truth is either it’s true or it’s not.

If the seller attempts to hedge the truth, then the answer usually isn’t true. A partially true answer also isn’t a true answer, thus making it false.

They Respond With “Well”

You ask a direct “Yes” or “No” question, and they respond with a “Well.” What this means is the seller is preparing to give you an answer other than what you were expecting.

Asking Direct Questions

The buyer is looking to purchase an used computer:
Buyer: Has anything major gone wrong with the computer since you owned it?
Seller: Well, no, not really, but the hard drive crashes on occasion.
Buyer: So the hard drive isn’t working properly? (A direct “yes” or “no” question)
Seller: All computers have issues, so that’s why you should always back up your data.

The buyer asked a direct yes or no question. The response was “Well,” which means the buyer is getting an answer they weren’t expecting.

What the buyer wanted to hear was a “No.” The words “no not really” are word qualifiers. What “not really” means is there’s issues with the computer.

I Know You’re Lying To Me

The seller then tries to minimize the problem, by saying all computers crash now and then.

The simple answer the buyer was looking for was, “Yes, but the hard drive crashes sometimes.” This is the true answer, but reduces the probability of the sale.

The seller then avoids answering the buyer’s second direct question, by citing the general issue all computer users should be backing up their data.

To Narrow It Down

By using just a few simple questions, what the buyer was able to discover was the computer isn’t worth buying. Or it’s worth a lower price, to compensate for the cost of a potential new hard drive.

Always focus intently on the seller’s answers which concerns you, then ask other direct questions.

It’s your money and you’re putting yourself at risk, so it’s better to lay judgment, by quickly recognizing the signs of subliminal deception.

Knowing all of these tricks and traits could save you time, frustration, money, and angst, especially when negotiating to buy preowned goods.

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