Judgment is the process of forming an opinion on someone or something, by making a comparison. What judgment does, is plays an important role in the decisions we need to make to live productively. At times the thoughts we hold, is what prevents us from having what we want the most.
Judgment is based on the thoughts we hold about people and things. It’s our biased opinion of what we think is right. These thoughts are the filters through which we view our world.
The limiting beliefs we hold about ourselves, about what we can or cannot do, are turned into judgment.
Judgment can be a divider that causes separation between people, rather than bringing them together. It can play a role when it comes to marketing our business as well.
We make instant judgment on our clients, colleagues, and strategic partners, so it becomes important to understand the reasons why we project judgement.
We Don’t Know How To Love
It was Mother Teresa who once said, “If you judge others, you then have no time to love them.” No two things can occupy the same space at the same time.
If you hold judgment in your thoughts, then there’s no space or place for anything else.
We Are Insecure
Insecure people spend all of their time trying to make their world as secure as possible. They base security on their perceived ability to control the world around them.
They feel if they live, work and play in a world where everyone believes and acts as they do, then everything will be fine.
While this notion is far-fetched and hardly grounded in reality, judgment enters the picture when anything threatens to shake up this “perfect world.”
Any person, idea or event that doesn’t fit within their perceived world, is seen as wrong and unsuitable.
The cure for insecurity, is knowing there’s nothing that can be controlled in this life, except our thoughts.
We’re Influenced By Past Conditioning
So much of what we hold as “truths” are not really truths at all. Instead, they’re thoughts handed down to us by our parents, teachers, our church, and other important people during our lifetime.
Often times these truths were based on misinformation and fear, of that time or era.
Unfortunately, because these thoughts were instilled while we were young and vulnerable, they’ve taken hold. These thoughts have become the filters through which we view our life experiences.
To overcome this, we need to raise our awareness, that we are placing judgment with clouded lenses and without justification.
Fear Of Something In Someone
One of the most common reasons why we judge, is rooted in the fear that we have towards someone. This usually plays, to the insecurity around the thought the other person has more power than you do.
That they’re trying to use that knowledge to somehow control, take advantage or change you.
What underlies this is they may take something from you, and you’ll be left with less than what you have. Or you’ll be left with being less than who you are.
The remedy for this is to allow other people be who they are. What they do is their business and not yours.
To overcome this, adopt an attitude of curiosity and inquiry. Try to set aside your own preconceived notions about others and their intentions.
The best way to counteract this fear is starting a simple conversation with them.
It’s amazing how quickly our judgment of others can change when we’re basing our decisions on what’s “so,” rather than what we think is so.
We’re Afraid Of Something Within Ourselves
Judgmental behavior can arise when we don’t want to face something about ourselves. Often, what we fear most is the uncertainty we feel, when the thoughts and the attitudes we embrace are compromised.
We might judge others because we don’t, in fact, measure up to them. Our judgment of others are really mirrors of the judgments we make about ourselves.
It takes courage to look at who we are, what we think, and the responsibilities which arises from the actions we take.
If we fear something inside ourselves, we need to find out what it is. We need to expose it to the light, so we can deal with it constructively.
We Hide When We Don’t Understand Something
Judgment is one of the most common tactics, when we’re trying to hide our ignorance of something. Rather than coming from a place of fear, a more productive way would be to open up communication.
Instead of cutting yourself off from people and opportunities because you don’t understand something, do something about it.
Learn more, find out more, and open your mind to taking in new ideas and experiences.
By opening our minds to learning more, we can help our hearts to open up as well. There’s no place for judgment once we come from a place of love and understanding.
Our Position Feels Threatened
It is a common reaction for most to place judgment, once we feel our position of power is being threatened or compromised.
Most tend to see the world as “black and white,” there’s just one winner and then there’s everyone else.
We are self-centered, as we can’t appreciate the rights and uniqueness of others. This behavior is common with those who suffer from low self-esteem.
They derive their value and therefore their power, by how they think others perceive them.
This rather than their worth coming from an internal sense that they are, indeed, a valuable and worthwhile individual.
Unaware Of How Thoughts Become Reality
As our society evolves, many are seeing the power of their thoughts, that what they think about, tends to manifest. One of the most poisonous things about judgment is it creates separation among people.
It divides people into camps, the winners and the losers, the “we’re right” and “you’re wrong,” the “I know,” and “you don’t.”
There is usually no good that comes from judging ourselves and others. It is a perspective that comes from a place there is something wrong, less than, or not good enough.
Why not instead come from another place, one where everything and everyone is right and good about the situation. After all, it’s just their opinion.
We alone make the choice about the things we think about, so why not choose a brighter path.
Why not spend our time and energy thinking about things that will bring us happiness.
It Becomes A Habit
Like almost everything else we do in our life, judgment can become a habit. All habits however are just unconscious, learned behaviors. Like any behavior we have, they can be unlearned.
There are several things to consider when breaking a habit. First, you need to clearly understand your habit and what it’s rooted in. Judgement is fundamentally rooted in fear.
Next, you have to want to change. You need to be able to visualize the type of person you desire to be, and all the benefits that will accrue for you as a result.
Finally, you need to take action to change. It takes time, determination, and discipline to change something you’ve done for a long time, so get help if you need it.