Everybody wants to be liked, this especially when going to school. Being popular is the biggest social currency when we’re young, and nothing else matters. All we care about is how many cool friends we have. How popular we are, accepted and liked by our peers.
But realize that some will never like you. How you look, that you’re too smart, too pretty or too ethnic. For whatever reason, some are just conditioned to think this way. Certain people on this planet will never like you, so stop the desperate attempts to please everyone.
What makes life easier is to have friends, to have human kinship with others who you have something in common with.
So you reach out only to be rejected, ignored, they don’t care to be acquaintances with you. Then you slowly edge to the conclusion that there might be something wrong with you.
What then enters is self doubt, this especially when the only thing that matters is being popular. This is what the youth is faced with, a cold frigid world where their self-esteem takes a tumble.
Please Help Me I’m Boring
So are those who you’re attempting to reach out to really ignoring you. You need to first establish if you have real evidence of they doing so. Or are you setting your expectations too high, being too harsh on yourself.
Those who have low self-esteem automatically defaults to they not being good enough, that they’re deficient in looks, hipness, or personality.
They depress themselves into believing that they don’t have the human goods, even if there’s no genuine DNA evidence for their negative belief.
Those who have poor self-image issues can be surrounded by others who actually likes them, cares about them, enjoys their company, but since they don’t believe that they’re worthy of being liked, they convince themselves that they’re liked out of pity.
For Those Who Don’t Like You
So, if you’re feeling that someone really doesn’t like you, first find the external evidence that it’s really true, or if you’re just being defeatist and negative. That you’re just being too hard on yourself, as self-doubt leaks thorough.
There are instances however, where others won’t like you. That in the vast number of people that you meet, there’s a certain percentage who won’t like you for one reason or another. You make all the proper social overtures and be friendly, but you’re shunned.
Reasons For Rejection
As we grow older, what many will do is move into their tightly knit circle of friends, and become enclosed with them. These are people who they’re most comfortable with, and won’t usually allow or welcome new people to enter this circle.
Or you might be surrounded by those who will automatically judge and dislike people based on a particular religion, ethnic background, skin color, sexual orientation, or bodily appearance.
People on first sight will just reject you because of the clothes that you wear, or you don’t have the latest cool apparel.
This occurs especially in high school where kids are strongly conformist, as they can be cruel, as they base judgement on those who appear to be different from the norm. Sadly, some will never grow out of this stage of judgment, which are just trivial and superficial.
You Are Who You Are
Just pounding yourself down by blaming who you are isn’t the solution. Saying negative things to yourself can only spiral into self-doubt and hatred.
Or you might focus this anger externally in a spirit of bitterness, and then seek revenge towards others, which isn’t the solution either.
It becomes important to just take a good hard look at how you come across, and interact with others. There might be specific behaviors which causes others to dislike you, certain behaviors you can change.
Reasons Others Won’t Like You
• Are you constantly always negative and complaining with a dour look on your face. What most have is a difficult time dealing with this, as they have problems of their own
• Do you actively reach out and start conversations with others, or hold back and wait for someone to do all the work in starting these conversations. If so, then learn to take the initiative by polishing up your conversational skills and become interesting
• Do you endlessly talk about yourself while showing no interest in those who you’re talking to. People will become easily bored with this annoying egotistical behavior, when you’re only interested in yourself
• Are you trying too hard to please others, constantly agreeing with everything they say just to be likeable, while never expressing your own opinion. People don’t respect those who won’t respect themselves
• Do you constantly say things which hurts their feelings, even if it’s obviously a joke or sarcasm. Do you gossip behind their backs. No one will trust you once they find out that you’re mean and hateful
If you’re wanting others to like you, to be your friend, it becomes important to be persistent and not give up easily.
Continue to approach those who you want to be friends with, this by perfecting the art of making conversation. Rid of all your bad social habits, begin by focusing on them first.
If you continue to get the shrug by those who you encounter, particularly from those who you see everyday such as the workplace, then look elsewhere to find people that you can confide and be friends with.
Work on knowing and developing your interests, talents and good qualities that you have, this so you can at least find things you have in common with others. Continue to actively search for those who are like you and will accept you. Smile don’t smirk.