What most are beginning to realize, is that before they have any type of meaningful relationship with someone else, what they need is to have a relationship with themselves first. However long that may take. How can you ever know who you are, if you’re constantly jumping in and out of relationships, with no actual “me” time.
This is the reason why once you see someone who’s single, don’t pity them because they appear to be alone, or judge them to be unworthy of finding a mate. This since they are just most likely taking appraisal of themselves, to know who they are, and what they like.
With all the buzz about finding that perfect partner, searching for that ideal soulmate of destiny, although it’s all fun and romantic, it’s also not practical. How can you possibly love someone, if you don’t know who you are, first.
There are some who blindly jumps in and out of relationships, like they’re hopping subway trains. Then they wonder why they can’t find someone permanently. They’re not searching, they’re just masking their desperation.
Women who constantly flirt, who has a different boyfriend dangling off their arm every weekend, and the men who instantly fall in love with them, are not interested in settling down with anyone anytime soon. What they’re telling you, is that hey have no idea who they are.
To Find The One You Need To Be The One
What the media doesn’t validate and no one else appears to be discussing, is the one relationship that you need which matters the most, and that’s with yourself, this before you find that perfect someone.
Unlike high school romances or that picture perfect movie, it’s a relationship that’s vital for your growth, your maturation, the one that you’ll look back on, and you’ll thank yourself that you went through it.
Anyone who’s been single for a period of time, can relate it to jogging. It begins painfully, everything hurts, but after a while as time passes, you catch that second wind, and then believe that you can run forever.
What happens is the endorphins kick in, and you don’t want to stop anytime soon as the momentum carries you. You get wrapped up in yourself, feeling free with no baggage, effortlessly gliding through life.
Feelings When You’re Alone
You never feel alone once you find out what your true feelings are, as they’re the most important ones that you need to keep. You can’t do so when wrapped up in the arms of someone else.
If you don’t like being alone, then you truly are lonely. Until you find peace with yourself, you’re not ready for a relationship, this until you’ve reached that oneness.
Spending Time Alone
Everyone needs to be alone at times, this regardless if you’re already in a relationship, or if you’re jumping from one to another. Once you force yourself to spend your nights, your weekends alone, doing so shouldn’t frighten you.
Instead, it should invigorate you, make you feel excited, and not dread the downtime. Use the time to explore the things you like, the hobbies and the passions you adore, the ones that you cherished as a child.
Never go out and look for passion from someone, but rather find someone who understands what your passions are. Once you find out who you are, you’ll know exactly what you’re looking for.
Then those who you decide to invite into your life, will have a certain specificity about them, this because they fit in, this because what you’ve done is defined your own specificity first.
You know your exact passions, your dreams, and there are just a few certain types of people who understands them, and will help you nourish and grow them.
You know the exact type of person who fits into your puzzle, and you’ll get along with them because you know yourself. They complement you, but not complete you.
You Complete Yourself
What you do is complete yourself, since no one else should. Since you know who you are, you make yourself happy like no substance or human ever can. You find your happiness by loving yourself, and not by being infatuated with someone.
You know that your soulmate will compliment your life, but won’t make your life. What you did was you found your purpose, and no one can ever take that away from you.
You Are Your Own Goals
Knowing yourself means that you have personal goals, and not just the relationship ones that you need help on. What you want is a relationship with yourself, which will carry you through the rest of your life.
Unlike the relationships most strive for, what you found is one with yourself, and you’re now searching for someone to courtesy you. You don’t need someone to complete your world, since you’ve already created it yourself.
If you’ve established a relationship with yourself, what you won’t experience is the loss that others will feel, this once the love that they give fades away, or is rejected.
If you happen to go through a breakup, what you won’t feel is that your world is crumbling. What you had was a world before them, and will continue to have one after they’re gone.
Being Independent And Genuine
You don’t need to be someone else, or pretend to be someone who you’re not. Most relationships don’t last, because they’re not realistic. What most will refuse, is to find themselves first.
All they fantasize about, is the perception of who they think they are. Or they begin emulating the personalities of each other, ultimately realizing that they don’t like the person they’re pretending to be.
Once you’ve spent enough time alone to find yourself, realize who you are and stop playing imposter, then you’re ready to find that real relationship without the hazards of losing yourself again.