Yes, it’s all about you, the serial poster on Facebook. You look extremely happy and full of yourself, as you blare out countless posts about your gratifying fulfilled life. How complete that you are. But what that glossy eyed look and smile on your face of your latest selfie reveals, is a desperation of seeking attention, as you silently shout out for help. It’s that cry of insecurity, that’s most noticeable.
What’s revealed is your deep dark passenger that’s haunting your aura. What you hunger, constantly thirst for, is the need of assurance from others as you crave for attention, this from anyone, even complete strangers.
The reason for this, is because of your core belief that you’re not good enough. For many, this inner critic is so deeply ingrained within their psyche, that it becomes difficult to distinguish it from their real point of view.
But once doing so, what’s exposed is something that’s powerful and painfully prevalent. What’s known is that the average person will self-criticize themselves up to eight times an hour. Self-criticism is a trigger towards anxiety, which interferes with the ability to reach goals.
So if you’re thinking that this “mean” spirited inner voice, is attempting to motivate or inspire you to do better, then think again.
Instead, it’s most likely limiting you in ways that you’re not even aware of. What you want instead, is to become more action and goal oriented, and less self-critical.
Say Hello To Your Inner Critic
You want to do something positive, yet you waste your time ruminating on self-destructive thoughts. This is commonly known as your inner critic, which is the negative default setting in your brain.
What this does is steers you clear from your goals, this by giving you terrible advice, which is usually the wrong opinion.
If you’re wanting to get fit, what you’ll tell yourself is, “You’re too tired, so don’t bother going to the gym today.” If you’re going on a date, you would say, “Give him/her the cold shoulder, don’t show how you really feel.”
All you’re doing is just pushing yourself away from what you really want, and you obey this “voice” because it’s yours. “You’re lazy and fat, you look terrible.” “You blew it, they’ll never call you again. They don’t like you.”
To break free from this firm grip that is your inner critic, you need to consciously recognize it once it begins to talk to you. Adopt a more objective filter, this by ignoring its skewed biased opinions and horrible advice.
Love Yourself More
There’s fortunately a better more favorable attitude that you can adopt if you choose to, which can vigilantly act as an antidote and watchdog for your critical inner voice, and that’s self-compassion, to love yourself more.
What’s proven is that it’s self-compassion that’s the most effective, this when it comes to reducing self-criticism. It’s self-compassion, that activates your motivation towards your goals.
On the contrary, it’s this self love that’s conductive to making positive change, this by realizing how you can improve on your mistakes.
So instead of having a “woe is me” attitude, those who self love themselves, understands that suffering is part of being human, which actually connects them to others.
If they have a good attitude toward themselves, treat themselves like they would a friend, they’re able to respond better to challenges.
Learning Mindful Meditation
Mindful meditation is a process which allows you to dwell on your thoughts and feelings, in real time without judgment. Being mindful eventually turns into self-compassion.
It’s being aware of and expecting your painful experiences to surface, and then deciphering them in a fair honest balanced way, which doesn’t ignore or ruminate on the negative aspects of your life.
It’s not surprising, that practicing mindful meditation turns doubt into positive thoughts. All while increasing your self-compassion levels, which increases the overall feeling of well-being.
To Become More Mindful
What different forms of mindful meditation training does, is it reduces psychological distress, while removing all thoughts of pondering.
What combining meditation and say yoga for instance does, is it leads to less self-criticism and negativity, this by just being more aware, which dissolves self-doubt.
Where most will get in difficulty, is once they begin to blindly believe or start focusing on all their flaws, instead of their good points. What happens is they’ll completely lose themselves to this self-criticism, self-evaluation, and self-hatred.
Where this ultimately leads to is self destructive self limiting behavior, all which just distracts and removes you from your goals or what you deserve.
What practicing mindful meditation does, is it helps you get a grip on these thoughts, before they take over and destruct.
To Reach Your Goals
What we all do is set different goals that we’re wanting, different issues that we’re striving to tackle, aspirations that we’re wanting to pursue, all which has unique meaning to us.
What we can all benefit from, is taking on and tackling these goals and dreams, this by first freeing yourself from your persistent inner critic, that constantly nags you.
We’re All Connected
We can strive to become more self-compassionate, this by being more mindful of ourselves and the people around us. Once we do so, what we feel is more connected and available to the universe.
What we’ll begin to do, is offer more of ourselves, as we begin to evolve and shift our way on how we view everything. This leads us to grow into who we truly are, while being more aware and alive.
We need to realize that our inner critic, will constantly instruct us to do the things that aren’t in our favor or advantage, this as a safety measure so we won’t get hurt.
So when it comes to seeking change, taking risk, ask yourself what makes you feel the most alive, and then do it. What the world needs more of, is people with compassion.