What we’re told is to find a relationship in life, this to become full fledged adults. Hopefully, there’s romance then intimacy, our lives becoming complete. But most relationships are rarely perfect, traumatic, leaving psychological scars needing emotional healing.
This is the reality of life, and not snippets from a fairytale book which begins with “Once upon a time.” People are hardly ever perfect, we’re often mysterious beings from a life gone wrong, shady baggage, protecting ourselves from further damage.
So be careful who you fall in love with, as most are not looking for love but are looking for help. They fall on the dark side of narcissism, while some will border on being psychopathic. Psychopathy is a common term which has a blanket definition by the media, symptoms which are usually ambiguous.
A Real Disorder
Psychopathy is a real disorder that’s related to specific functions in the brain that’s faulty. Particularly the ventromedial prefrontal cortex, the amygdala, and the anterior cingulate cortex.
These symptoms are an ingrained constellation of behaviors and personality traits. The manners of a psychopath lead towards an emotional processing disorder, which usually stems from a strong genetic foundation.
It’s thought that a certain percent of the population of both sexes are afflicted. What psychopaths will do is manipulate, use others for their benefit, even if the outcome creates pain or devastation.
Attempting to return the love back to them, extending it or caring about them won’t have any expression or impression on them.
Cause And Effect
The psychopath can mastermind the loss of jobs, divide a team, turn people against each other. When it comes to intimate relationships, they’ll leave partners or family members reeling with the impact of trauma and betrayal, lasting long after they’re gone.
This condition when placed on a spectrum, there’s a distinct gradient. Some are more disordered than others, some do so subconsciously.
There are two major variants of psychopath, primary and secondary. The core symptoms are present in both, but the underlying etiology may be different.
Degrees Of The Condition
Those who are considered primary, have symptoms most associate with when it comes to this disorder. They’re unemotional, lack anxiety, and are usually narcissistic.
This condition is thought to be biologically inherited, and unlikely that they were mistreatment during their childhood, and more a personality trait.
Secondary psychopaths are more emotionally reactive as well as more tense, typically described as being anxious. What studies show is that past trauma along with environmental factors correlate with this grade of psychopathy.
Within these variants, what’s often exhibited are dual personalities. For instance, most on the surface will appear outgoing, exciting, charming, and loaded with confidence and charisma, at least in public.
People may feel drawn towards them, finding that their magnetism and achievements admirable. Once alone however, these individuals may instill fear in others, causing those close to them to avoid them, afraid of their volatile temper.
So You’re Dating A Psychopath
Other than issues such as minimal empathy, expression, manipulation, anger, and becoming antagonistic, there are other reveals which violates having a secure relationship with one.
Unable To Bond
At the beginning, the relationship is intimate, they’re excited and exciting, stimulated by their new romance, as they’ll mistakenly treat this state as bonding.
This is the initial dopamine driven stage of the new romantic love which can feel like addictive attraction.
Once that begins to fade however, so does their attention and interest. It’s at this point that they’ll begin to display their disdain.
They’ll demonstrate a predictable cyclical pattern when it comes to intimate relationships. They’ll devalue, idealize, and then ultimately discard or shut out their partners, with no concern for the pain they’re causing.
Since they’ve never felt a close connection with their partner in the first place, walking away from them causes no discomfort whatsoever.
Most are just relieved to move on to their next target, particularly once they leave their former mate in a position of disadvantage.
Never Offers An Apology
Psychopaths don’t have the ability to feel sorry or guilt, this due to a faulty function in their brain resulting in immoral behavior. If they cause damage or hurt someone, they’ll rarely apologize.
If an apology appears to be offered, it’s beyond words with an element of minimizing. The feelings of guilt or remorse doesn’t exist, because that’s not within their mental capacity.
The usual contrition as a result will be absent. Their attitude typically being, “Just let it go,” “You’re being way too sensitive,” or “Stop living in the past!”
Signs Of Narcissism
Those who are primary psychopaths, it’s their nature to have an incredibly inflated ego. They don’t need or care about getting approval from others, and will do whatever they please.
Any desire that may they have for control is associated with feelings of superiority, and not insecurity. Those who are psychopathic, generally don’t have any interest in making friends.
The Psychopaths Among Us
It’s not uncommon for a psychopath to lead secret or dual lives, have disengaging thoughts, and a pattern of behavior that’s violating.
Instances include: Internet trolling, stalking, bullying, forcing others to do things against their will.
A healthy intimate relationship is found almost impossible with someone who constantly seeks to control, manipulate, or demean. Their lack of concern regarding their actions further exacerbates the pain.
Within relationships, psychopathic behavior can create anxiety, distance, and a power differential. Often, these relationships can become traumatic, as their control obstructs normal bonding for the other person.
The only type of bond that’s created is based on fluctuating dependence, often becoming traumatic. This form of intense attachment is also usually difficult for the other partner to break off, thereby placing themselves in a dysfunctional relationship.