Once we want to improve our life, we instinctively look for external help. We look for self-help guides and resources because they know better than us, right? What we envision in our minds is what our ideal life should be like, but we think we need help to get there.
Once we formulate who we want to become, we go out and research how we can get there to become that person.
The only problem with this is what we’re giving up. What we’re giving away is our personal empowerment during the process.
Once we want something to manifest in our life, we wait for things to happen without taking action.
This could be for certain things, certain conditions or people to act or react in our favor. We want others to do the legwork for us.
“I’m happier when my wife cooks my favorite dish every once in a while” or
“I’ll be more satisfied once my husband becomes more romantic” or
“I’ll be a lot more happier once my boss thinks I deserve a raise, when my contributions are appreciated”
We’re wanting others to read our minds somehow, to fulfill our wants to create a perfect world for us. Instead, we should be creating it ourselves.
Waiting For The Sake Of Waiting
There are situations when we base our happiness contingent on a set of variables, certain things or events that we want to occur.
“I’ll be happier once I begin making more money, but I can’t make more money until I finish university” or
“I’ll be happier once we own our own home” or
“I’ll be happy once I get a better paying job”
So what do you do in the meantime, while you’re waiting for everyone to do all the work for you?
Waiting For Hope
There’s nothing wrong to wish, to hope for good things to happen to you. For things to get better somehow, as you’re striving to improve.
It’s okay to want to make your life better, but you also can’t lose control of your self awareness.
What constantly wishing for hope emulates, is spending your time dwelling on the negative. On things you don’t have.
There’s a saying “You are what you think.” What you think about the most is what will come true. It festers in your mind and expands.
So if you’re constantly focused on all the things you lack, that’s exactly what you’ll get.
Then once you don’t get what you want, you believe your cursed and your life is doomed. Realize all you’re doing, is just attracting more negative vibes into your life.
Instead Focus On The Positives
What you need is to force yourself to focus on the positive. You want good things to happen to you while taking action on them. That’s when your wishes will come true.
Once you personally follow up on what you want while believing it will occur, is when you’ll get what you want.
Know it’s strictly what you do is what alters your life in your favor. Once you rely on no one else but you, is when things will happen.
So decide which results you would rather have. What you want is to have as much control as you can over your thinking.
Know there will always be unwelcome thoughts constantly filtering in however, which will violate your positive consciousness.
You need to become mindful once these negative thoughts occur, and focus on keeping your mind on track.
When you don’t want negative thoughts to occupy your mind, is when you force feed positive thoughts instead.
Just focus on anything that’s good, this whether it’s from the past, present or future.
It’s Up To You To Alter Your Mind
So you’re wondering why it’s “you” who needs to change, when you think it’s the other person who has the problem.
What you need is to place ownership of any problem where it belongs. Place the blame on who’s more upset about the issue.
If you’re mad because your husband doesn’t take out the trash on time, then who’s more upset about the situation. It’s you, so it becomes your problem.
Your husband most likely doesn’t even notice or care the garbage is a problem.
You think your boss is a controlling arrogant narcissist. Well, they’re not lying awake at night thinking of different ways to be more sensitive to you.
They have no idea you’re thinking these things about them, so it’s your problem not theirs. They most likely don’t even know you have a problem with them.
So when fixing these issues, first decide who’s problem it is. The problem resides on the person who’s upset, so it’s on that person to find a solution.
It’s Your Life
The majority of human suffering is our refusal to alter what exists in our life, by stubbornly not wanting to make personal changes.
Instead, we become power hungry attempting to change others to our way of thinking, to meet our needs.
What would happen if you instead accept everyone for who they are, without exception.
What if you somehow recognized things are perfect just the way they are. Would you be just as happy or content with the life situations which already exists.
What having self-empowerment involves is you first needing to attribute the problem with the proper individual, which is usually you.
Then you need to attempt to solve the problem, by adjusting your behavior or reaction.
What this allows is the unhappy person which is you, to be in command of your own emotions.
So start from the inside out, empower yourself by adjusting your own thoughts and behavior first, to effectively manage whatever life throws your way.