Marlene, 34, is a successful freelance interior decorator, an Oprah and Martha Stewart fanatic. She goes on a trip every year during the summer to visit her parents in Chicago for a family reunion. She usually stays for a little over a week. These vacations are supposed to be happy events, but not usually for Marlene. She dreads this vacation time and especially holidays such as, Easter and Christmas etc., as she has to face the same questions again, over and over, from her parents and relatives. These family reunions make her feel uncomfortable as almost everyone, from her 21 year old niece, to the assortment of cousins that are already “taken.” She has always found herself on the ‘spotlight’ for being the only single person in the family.
It doesn’t help when her own father, sitting in the corner, is looking at her, as if he’s asking: “What’s wrong with you?” Your mom also ignores and pretends not hearing the most ‘frequently asked question’, whenever she has guests: “Is your daughter married yet?”
So you are single and also unattached…your biological clock is ticking. This is the primary dilemma facing Marlene and the main source of her stress and anxiety.
After these annual visits or just after the holidays, she always concludes that there’s no room for me, a ‘Single White Female’, in a household and family that expects women to be married. There’s no room either in her ‘circle of friends’, who all have spouses, boyfriends or flings. These people that’s around her, she concluded, looks at her as someone who’s kissed dating goodbye.
Yes, there are countless Marlene’s out there, still anxiously waiting for their “special someone” to come along. But you wonder if they waiting in vain?
Successful career women, young or old, beautiful or works in progress, once they realize they’re not getting any younger, start to panic and realize that they may have missed that train called ‘The game of love.’ Once they realize that they still yearn for the comfort and stability of a loving relationship, these career women begin to concentrate more on social interaction, that same awkward phase they went through as a teenager. They are still hoping to meet that special someone, who could free them from being single. Women, whom are suddenly in their 30’s, have realized that “single-hood” has already lost its freedom and novelty.
But it’s not just these single never been married women who feel this way. Single parents such as Linda, a 37 year old successful and attractive chef and a mother of two daughters, also misses the warmth and security of being in a relationship. Life is tough as her daughters miss their father a lot.
But There’s Always Hope For You
There is no need or time to sulk, thinking you got handed a raw deal, because of your “single” situation. When you find yourself there, it’s always good to consider the following recommendations:
Always Love Yourself
Take care of yourself and your well being. Always pamper yourself. It can be as simple as a trip to your favorite diner or coffee shop, that should do the trick. Make sure you keep yourself busy, do things like volunteer work, so you won’t be stuck at home and always feeling sorry for yourself. Another great way is listening to music. Listen to your favorite soothing music like jazz, accompanied by a nice bottle of red wine.
Shop Till You Drop Therapy
Women find it relaxing and therapeutic when shopping. Yes, it may sound superficial. But even if you’re on a low budget, you can still get great deals on fashionable designer clothes and accessories. Oh, and don’t forget that beautiful pair of red shoes.
Always Stop, Look and Listen
Don’t think you have to be on standby to find that perfect partner. Chances are that ‘Prince Charming’ dude might be found spontaneously and in the most unlikely places, and you will probably get caught during one of your unguarded moments. Times such as when you’re not looking your best. Don’t try hard to be with just anyone, you will just be disappointed again.
Hang Out With Other Single Women
The sole reason why “Sex in the City” became such a hit T.V series. There’s something “magical” that happens when you’re surrounded by your pals, your well meaning single friends. You can always get together and have a bit of fun, like inviting them over to your house and having a nice home cooked meal, wine and laugh your way out.
Try Not Getting Back in Touch with Your Ex
Try resisting the urge, even if pressured by family or well meaning friends from time to time. Going back to your ex, simply because you can’t tolerate being alone, especially during special occasions or holidays, is one bad move.
Stop being so bitter and resentful, as it only adds to your anxiety and stress. You being angry about being alone, or finding that wrong man, or being separated for a while doesn’t help, but only adds fuel to the fire. Enjoy where you are and what you have, no matter what you have. Accept that being single at the present moment, may have some advantages as well as purpose. Don’t get caught up with what others say.
So get a grip…you being single should not and is not “the end of the world.” Oh, you can always get a dog.