The biggest cause of divorce is choosing to marry the wrong person. Stinging blunt but true. What most get blinded by is love, and they fail to see the potential difficulties that lies ahead, this as lust overtakes their denials. All the flaws of their new mate, won’t usually appear until it’s too late.
Many fall in love with the concept of love, and not the person. Women know that their biological clock is ticking, that all their friends from school are getting hitched, so any guy they trap once they flash their eyelashes, will do. What they fail to see, ignore, is what the long term future with this person may be like, once they get married.
For women, make sure that your man has all the credentials, such as a good job, good health, a faithful personality, this before you allow yourself to fall in love.
For men, look at the lovely woman you’re about to marry, and then take a look at her mom. You’ll get a glimpse of what she’ll most likely be like decades later, this by knowing her parent.
Vision what your future life will be like before you say “I Do.” Never allow any unforeseen tragedies to reveal themselves, this after you marry. Don’t wait until it’s too late. Realize all their flaws, how they annoy you, the thoughts of spending the rest of your life together with them.
Physical Sexual Attraction
It’s not sustainable long term, and usually poor judgment, if you decide to marry someone who you consider to be just “passable.” That you don’t find them to be physically attractive. The only exception is that it’s not a priority for you.
For instance, some prefer intellect over physical attractiveness. What’s key however, is that you’d better be right, or you’ll pay a boring incompatible lifelong steep price if you miscalculate.
The general rule is to choose someone who “turns you on,” someone who has the look that you like, or has the body type you like. Compromising too much only leads to pain in the future, and possibly extramarital affairs.
You Can Relate To Them
What’s crucial is you need to have an airtight emotional connection with your prospective partner, that you’re both on the same wavelength. Marrying someone who shares your interests during your downtime, becomes key.
Sharing a hobby is a lot more enjoyable than doing it alone, and it’s binding as well. The bond also results in less control struggles. So find someone who enjoys your passion for golfing, skiing, or jogging.
Otherwise, this can result in the nonparticipant partner constantly complaining, that you doing your hobby, is taking up too much time away from the relationship, or that it costs too much.
So it becomes vital you both share similar goals and values. The biggest cause of divorce after years of marriage, is because there’s disagreement on the course of the future.
This reveals itself before having kids, or once the kids have left home, as raising them was the only mutual goal.
Know Their Relationship History
Everyone deserves a fresh start. But find out if an individual’s history reveals certain “red flags,” ones which could potentially lead towards the destruction of the marriage.
Pay specific attention, to whether they’ve demonstrated the ability to sustain a long-term relationship. Determine what the issues were, if there’s a distinct pattern. Know if infidelity, addiction, or abuse was a problem.
Never overestimate your ability that you could change someone. Realize that you’re potentially buying a turkey that’s already cooked.
Someone You Can Talk To
Find someone who’ll allow you to speak your mind, express your opinion, this especially regarding controversial distressing topics. What most can only talk about are the good times, but they’ll clam up once there’s any threat of conflict.
Or they may instinctively go on the offensive or the defensive, this to favorably control the process in their favor. The biggest problem between couples remains communication, along with refusing to listen, this by being selective to what they’re hearing.
They’re Responsible And Accountable
Do they admit they were wrong, this if they cause a problem or make a mistake in the relationship. There are some who are just too fragile, anxious with low self-esteem to admit guilt. Some are never wrong, while others are stubborn with a big ego.
So it’s imperative to choose a “team player;” someone who’s willing to work with and not against you to solve your relationship issues. Someone who’s capable of apologizing when wrong, and say “I’m sorry,” as it remains one of the hardest words to express.
Comply With And Respect Their Family
You realize that any family has a degree of dysfunction, but you could deal with it over the holiday’s. What’s also important is that they like you, without showing prejudice.
Potential conflict with their siblings usually isn’t a deal breaker, but realize that life will go a lot smoother, and your relationship will remain tighter, if you can get along with your partner’s family, and vice versa.
This will prove important, especially if the family is tightly knit on tradition, needing to deal with all the quirks. Never think that you’re capable of yanking them away from the crazy zaniness of what they’ve previously endured.
Before You Say “I Do”
Choosing a mate for life is a highly subjective process, What many will do is bring their own set of priorities, and will do so with a lot of passion.
It appears that physical attraction is the key, while how emotionally compatible you are creates less conflict. Make sure you’re on the same page, and you’re both healthy. It’s important that you value companionship above all else.