We select our first words based on our emotions. The words that we speak on a daily basis can carry immense weight. If you’re wanting to make a difference in someone’s life, then carefully choose which words you use.
If you’re in a position of influence, then there are certain words which you need to say everyday, this to your significant other, friends or family, employees and colleagues, and everyone else that you care about. If you have a crowd which needs to listen to you, that doesn’t mean you’re smarter than them.
So always weight your words, always back up and justify all of your statements, and have valid reasons for your decisions. Always be ready to give a reason for these actions, verify everything that you do with sense and logic, and never from a position of authority or arrogance.
When taking the time to explain your decisions, this especially if they’re controversial, what doing so does is it opens up those decisions up for discussion or criticism, while also opening up your future decisions for improvement.
Words To Say On A Daily Basis
• Always Say That You’re Welcome – Think about the last time that you gave a well thought out gift, and then the recipient appeared ungrateful and awkward. The reaction took away from the giving.
The same thing can happen once someone thanks you, or are complimenting or praising you some how. Don’t spoil the moment for them. This even if the spotlight makes you feel uneasy, make eye contact and say, “You’re Welcome.” Make it all about the other person.
• Admit That You Were Wrong – We all make mistakes and make poor judgements on occasion. So whenever you’re in the wrong, admit it by saying that you were wrong, that you made a mistake. Then, what happens once you admit to your mistake is that you’ll earn respect rather than losing it.
• Say That You’re Sorry – We’re never perfect but it’s our ego which stops us from admitting that we made a mistake, and then we attempt to cover it up somehow.
We all have things that we always need to apologize for, which includes our actions, words, omissions, failing to step up or step in, we fail to show support or respect, all things which we should be sorry for.
So the quick easy fix is just to say that you’re sorry, but never follow up the apology by adding a disclaimer such as, “I was really upset because…” or any other statement which places the blame back towards someone.
Just say that you’re sorry, be genuine and mean it, say why you’re sorry while taking all the blame that it’s your fault. No less, no more. What you’re doing is making a fresh start.
• You Are Awesome – No one ever gets the proper or enough praise that they deserve. So pick someone, anyone, who continuously does or did something well and then say to them, “Wow, that was excellent how you…”
Feel free to go back in time by saying, “It was great how you handled that problem last month…” as doing so can make just as much impact now, as it would have back then.
Giving out praise is a gift which costs absolutely nothing to the giver, but is priceless for the recipient. So begin praising. Those who are around you will appreciate and love you for it, and you’ll also like yourself more for doing so.
• Let Me Help You – The majority of people think that asking for help is a sign of weakness. So because of this, most will hesitate to ask for any. But everyone at one time or another needs a bit of assistance at times.
But avoid saying, “Is there anything that I can help you with?” as what most will instinctively say back to you is a reflexive, “No thanks.”
Rather be more specific. Find something that you can be helpful with by saying, “I have a few moments, can I help you finish this?” Make your offer in a way which feels more collaborative and not patronizing or gratuitous. Then actually be prepared to help.
• Will You Be Able To Show Me – There’s a saying that advice is temporary but knowledge is forever. Knowing exactly what to do helps, but knowing precisely how or why can mean everything.
When you ask someone to be shown or taught, then several things will happen. What you’re doing is implicitly showing your respect to that person that’s giving the advice.
You’re showing that you trust their experience, skill, or knowledge, and then you get to assess the value of the advice given. Never ask for their input, but rather ask to be trained, taught, or shown.
• At Times Just Say Nothing – There are times that the best thing is to just say nothing. This especially if you’re frustrated, upset, or angry, then let it pass. You may think that venting will make you feel a lot better, but that’s rarely true.
Results will always come and go, but feelings lasts forever. Once you criticize someone, especially in a group setting, it may appear that they’ll get over it, but deep inside, the scar remains.
So before you speak, consider how they’ll think and feel before you evaluate whether your decision makes objective sense. You can recover from a mistake which is made because of inaccurate or faulty projections, but not from the damage that you inflicted on someones self-esteem.
So make sure that you remain quiet until you know exactly what you should be saying, and exactly what affect that your words will have.
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