The Diary To The Needy How To Avoid Those Who Manipulate You
You know when you’re addicted to someone who manipulates you emotionally. The reveals are that you blame that person for how you feel or how frustrated, angry, or guilty and dissatisfied that you are with your life, but continue on.
Do you honestly think that you can let go of all their expectations and still continue the relationship. Doing so may not be easy but it’s proven possible. The core of those who manipulates you are they’re usually powerfully magnetic individuals, as well as being amazingly perceptive.
What they have is this uncanny ability of sensing when you’re nearing your wit’s end, and the moment that you think you can’t take it anymore, they’ll back off. Then they become reasonable, nice, thoughtful, at times funny and attentive. What this doesn’t mean is that they’ve suddenly gained insight, or that they’ll stop their demanding ways.
What it simply means is that they sense you’re about to crack or move away from their mind grasp, and they don’t want to lose that advantage over you. This by they becoming more pleasant, releasing the reins, but know that all they’re doing is keeping you close and under control.
You as the receiver of this becomes vulnerable and responsive even to the slightest of positive indicators from those who emotionally manipulate you. You become hopeful while praying they see and understand the love and the caring that you’re providing, as the positive moments, although far and few between, are counted with value.
Attempting To Cut Ties From Those Who Manipulate
Once you let go of someone who manipulates you emotionally means is that you’re giving up needing their constant approval, validation, and looking at their point of view of the world, but turning instead towards yourself, your own self centered person, independent.
Once you attempt to fit your thoughts into their distorted perspective, or attempt to get them to somehow see and hopefully understand your point of view, your opinion, you’ll then usually find yourself wandering in a labyrinth of confusion.
Cutting yourself loose from an emotional manipulator means that you’re beginning to decipher for yourself how and what you feel, deciding what you want, and what you’re willing to do about it.
What the manipulator wants is you to exactly match their vision of yourself and will at times go to extremes to accomplish this, using both positive as well as negative influences, just to get you to conform to their preferred image and their choices.
The Jail Of Disapproval
You know all too well that by not complying, not matching or doing what they want, what that does is it exposes you to their immediate anger and their disapproval. What this refers to is you decide to disengage yourself from constantly attempting to please, or getting their endorsement or support for whatever it is that you feel, think or do.
You begin to not care as much to what that person thinks about you. After all, deep inside, you think you’re doing it because of love, since you often don’t really approve, agree with, or like what that person is saying or doing.
So then ask yourself why it then matters so much to you how that person thinks or feels in the first place.
And This The Fox Trap
This is perhaps the key to the behavior. It’s not just that they keep you bound to them, it’s more that you decide to keep yourself clinging on. What you continue to seek and need is their constant approval and validation, which they’ll give or withhold from you, to get exactly what they want, and the cycle continues.
This because they know exactly just how much to give out and when to take it away, all this just to keep you coming back for more.
Taking Control Of Yourself
What you have is total control over the choices that you make. What you don’t have however is control over the choices that those you manipulates you emotionally makes for you.
You should consider this an important lesson in life. Start by letting their demands go. Allow them to focus on fulfilling their own needs themselves, while you begin working on taking care of your own needs and wants. Then you’ll begin to make progress.
Making Your Stand
It can then become confusing that you begin to dismiss or ignore your feelings of the person that you think you love, as they’ll begin to complain that you never do anything for them any longer.
It can also become difficult to feel cared for, or safe, or be heard in such relationships. You begin to feel the constant pressure to say as well as do the right thing just to please them, just to keep the peace.
This type of pressure can lead towards low self-esteem and anxiety, not wanting to make a mistake, while lacking enthusiasm and energy. Basing yourself solely on the opinions of someone else is a vulnerable proposition.
Continuing The Grasp
Keep in mind that those who are capable of emotional manipulation feels the most secure when you look and feel needy. So they like to tip you off balance with the withdrawal of love, criticism, ridiculous demands, and lecturing on how much more superior they are.
When in a closed relationship, your attention always directs to that person, especially when you’re attempting to get and then keep this attention and love, and your needs then get snuffed out and ignored, just so that you can please them.