Some lie to save face or spare pain when it comes to someone’s feelings. It could be to protect themselves from punishment, or to gain advantage. What’s known is that humans have an innate ability to lie, some better than others. The ability to manipulate the expectations of people around them. Some consider lying a refined social skill.
We learn early as kids that lying can work in our favor, and at times, we end up believing these lies we tell others. We create our own web of deception, this to portray the best possible image of ourselves. Since there are plenty of factors that’s involved in misleading others, not everyone’s good at it.
In the attempts to becoming a good human, the intention is usually to deceive others as little as possible, which means lying only when we really need to.
Those who are pathological liars however, will tell others so many little “fibs,” that it becomes impossible to keep track of them all. Those who have mastered the art of deception, usually only fabricates when they know they can get away with it.
Practice Makes Perfect
Why most liars get caught easily, is because they’ve constructed their deceptive story on the fly, this without foresight. The reveal is usually ones guilt ridden body language that gives them away.
And because all of the details that are fabricated immediately and on the spot, what then happens is it becomes difficult remembering them all.
Once planning a fake scenario and memorizing all the details, then there’s a better chance of getting others to believe you.
Lies That Are True
This form of lying is known as telling a misleading truth, which most consider to be unethical. The key difference when it comes to the truth and a misleading truth, is that a misleading truth is a half-truth that can’t be contested.
For instance, let’s assume that a friend invites you out for dinner, but you don’t feel like socializing with them.
The truth is telling them you don’t like them or you’re not in the mood. A misleading truth is you’re too busy at work or you’re already meeting someone else. The key to masking this technique is avoiding follow-up questions.
Know Your “Victim”
To deceive someone, to influence them to accept your point of view, what’s required is learning to become an effective listener. The ability to listen, will give you the upper hand, the advantage of finding out what the nuances of the other person are.
Once you listen, learn, and then determine what motivates that person by studying them, it then becomes easier to deceive them.
What you basically become aware of are interlocutor interests and activities, and their general perspective on things, which makes it easier for you to lie then cover your tracks.
Diligently Work On The Details
One of the key reasons why most “lies” are exposed, is because the story isn’t airtight. What they comprise of are various dissimilar details that the liar tells, this to the same person.
Once they tell their yarn, talk about the deceitful story to others over and over, it just becomes a matter of time before the lie is exposed and unravels. What the best liars will do is first nail down all the details of the story, make it rock solid, this before sharing it with others.
Commitment To Your Story
The majority are just poor liars because they feel uncomfortable, find deception is unpleasant, as they feel guilt and they want to get it over with as soon as possible.
The police for instance knows this, as what’s eventually revealed is the psychological toil, the struggle internally which surfaces, which becomes visible from the uncontrollable facial expressions and gestures.
A good liar never shows emotion, such as shame, guilt, or relief, as they stand by their original story. This is the reason why changing an original statement, is instantly viewed with doubt.
Controlling Body Language
Since what most feel is uncomfortable when lying, it’s quickly revealed in their body language. Once someone tells a fake story, a fib, they’ll either touch their nose, slightly twitch or begin to fidget, stutter, their eyes begin to dart, or they start to breath deeply while sweating.
These gestures however, should be interpreted individually, as they’re often a complex set of indicators. Someone who constantly touches their nose for instance, might suddenly produce a tissue because they have a cold.
Using Distractions Intentionally
If someone’s about to be exposed for their lie, what they’ll often do is use some type of distraction, this in the attempts to manipulate the person they’ re attempting to deceive.
So once they become suspicious, a seasoned liar will shift to another topic, suddenly become emotional, diverge the attention towards a completely unrelated activity or object.
Bargaining Can Get One Off The Hook
Bargaining, reasoning, is an effective means of escaping repercussion, this once the liar is ultimately exposed.
This technique is utilized once the deceiver is attempting to dodge their responsibility for the lie, so the interlocutor won’t get angry or react harshly.
Retaliation Once Accused
Although the majority will feel uneasy when lying to others, the victim can also feel embarrassed to accuse the deceiver. But once they do start pointing fingers, then there’s just one solution to restore credibility.
This is how experienced seasoned politicians respond to questions that are uncomfortable. They’ll stand by their statement with a certain level of proactive “how dare you” aggressiveness.
If the individual doesn’t back off and remains persistent on the topic, what they’ll then do is force the critics or detractors to direct their resources elsewhere, this by diverting their attention towards another topic.