We constantly use our minds to make ourselves feel bad. We ruminate over an embarrassing moment that happened a week ago. We beat ourselves up by saying one thing, then doing another. As we worry about the future, what we’re doing is harming our ability to live a full life.
What if, instead, we decided to ask ourselves, “how much better can I make myself feel?” What’s known, is that our brains are just as adept at making us feel better, as it is making us feel worse. For most, what we tend is to think negative thoughts, although we know happy fun thoughts, are significantly better.
Try this exercise right now. Close your eyes and intentionally frown, think of a time you were upset, and recall how mad you were. Look around, and notice what catches your attention.
Notice the sounds that you hear, how bleak the colors are, how the environment reflects how upset you’re feeling. Soak in these negative thoughts.
Now let that feeling go, this by literally shaking your hands and head, to shake off that upset feeling. Stand up and move around a bit. Make sure that those bad feelings are gone.
Smile And The World…
Now intentionally smile, recall a recent time when you felt happy. Take a few deep breaths higher in your upper chest, and relive that good feeling. Once you’re feeling happy, take a look around and notice if your surroundings look any different.
What most find is that their environment reflects the emotional state they’re feeling. When upset, the world appears to look doom and gloom.
What thinking happy thoughts, does is makes the world a brighter happier place with cheerier voices, along with pleasant sights and smells everywhere.
When In Love
Now recall the first time you fell in love. You know, that feeling of skipping instead of walking down the street.
That magical glow of being in love, which always brings a smile to your face. This phenomenon of feeling heroically good when in love, is so ubiquitous that it’s become a cliché.
Whether you’re in love right now or not, you can still entertain the feeling that love provides. Know that if you’ve “lost that loving feeling,” there’s ways to get it back.
Relive the joy, this especially if your relationship has recently taken a turn for the worst. Know that every love affair starts off with a bang, with passionate moments of bliss. Recall them, this regardless if contempt has recently crept into the relationship.
Bring Back That Loving Feeling
Start recalling those extraordinary feelings of being in love. Most likely they’re just a distant memory, lying dormant.
Even if there’s no recollection, or you’ve never been in love, there are plenty of instance of people around you, who are in love.
What the brain can’t do is distinguish between what’s real and what’s fictional, this especially if it’s vividly imagined and felt. So there’s the opportunity of enjoying that feeling of love, that you may of never had.
So remember or pretend the glorious feeling of being in love. Their face, their voice, that glare, that touch. Recall a specific place, or a song when you first met, that reminds you of those feelings.
To Relive Love
It may initially start slow at first, but once you think of the sensory details of a time you were in love, what you’ll discover are two things:
• The more you dwell on it, the more the vivid details will come streaming back to you, this supplied by your imagination
• You’ll discover how great you feel, fantasizing these thoughts
Doing so is better than worrying about everything. What you need is to pursue and expose all these worry circuits, find and flush out the details, this to allow for more loving thoughts.
These loving thoughts don’t need to be real or be sentimental, they just need to be happy thoughts and feelings, the more happier and robust, the better.
Squeezing Your Fist
Turn this “recollecting” of love thoughts into a habit, so they’ll become routine. What constantly immersing yourself into doing so does, is forces all the memories and its associated feelings, to come flowing back to you.
As good as you are at worrying, you’ll become proficient at reminiscing love, as it takes the same effort. Once you recall a pleasant thought, embrace it by physically squeezing your fist. Make it a goal to come up with pleasant thoughts, that’s worthy of this fist squeeze.
Make This Feeling Routine
Every time that you recall a happy loving feeling, acknowledge it by squeezing your fist. Tell yourself you feel great and continue to do so. Realize that what squeezing your fist does, is produces associated loving feelings.
In NLP, this is known as an “anchor.” Once you activate this anchor, by squeezing the fist in this case, you’re triggering these feelings to activate naturally.
To Activate Love
So imagine your partner of ten years. You smile at them, and squeeze your fist. What you’re instantly experiencing are feelings of infatuation, the same ones you felt the first time you met, and fell in love.
Once you start the fist squeeze love anchor, make it a habit and squeeze it often, every time you see your love.
Soon, what doing so serves as the “anchor” for loving that person, while repeatedly falling in love with them over and over again.
The question becomes, are these recalled and created feelings of love real, or just an illusion? Just as all the bad feelings and worrying aren’t contrived illusions, it doesn’t matter.
Since you’re going to have thoughts and be thinking of something, why not just make them happy loving ones.