Liking and being liked is a two way street. For most of the time, there’s mutual like and respect for one other. There’s chemistry where like minded people are attracted to each other. But what if someone doesn’t like you. Does that concern you, do you even care. It comes down to how you react.
You put your personality out there, reach out to others and display your character, but nothing, some just don’t want anything to do with you. They don’t want to be your friend. Ultimately, you come to the conclusion that you’re defective somehow as a person, that there’s something wrong with you, because you can’t make any friends.
What the majority go through is this torment of self-doubt, this especially during their teenage years. Once children begin transforming into young adults, they become sociable and want to be liked, to be one of the cool kids.
If you really believe that those you’re wanting to be friends with, constantly rejects your advances, then you need to decide if there’s any valid proof, that they really don’t like you. Is it just imagined. What’s found is most just think the worst for themselves, which is natural.
You Like Me You Like Me Not
Those who feel they’re not liked that much, usually suffers from low self-esteem issues, while having feelings of self-doubt.
They’re convinced that others don’t like them, and in return, they don’t like others who they think may be inferior to them.
There are some who has such a poor self opinion of themselves, that even if they’re surrounded by others who likes them, actually cares about them, they continue to think they’re not worthy of being liked.
What they become convinced of is that they’re being liked out of pity, that others feel sorry for them, and it’s not genuine.
Someone Doesn’t Like Me
If you think that you’re not liked by someone, then attempt to clinically determine if there’s any real evidence, proof that they really don’t like you. Determine if you’re just being paranoid, or have a low opinion of yourself.
There are times however, when someone truly just doesn’t like you. That someone just doesn’t want to be your friend for one reason or another, as what they constantly give you is the cold shoulder.
Why Some Won’t Like You
Where this society is shifting towards, is from loving your neighbor regardless of who they are, flaws and all, to becoming snobs where they become selective.
What they form are tight knit circles with others that they like, and won’t open up their social group to newcomers, or those who aren’t similar to them.
We’re now living in segmented social groups where people generalize, and automatically dislike others because of a particular religion, ethnic background, skin color, sexual orientation, or bodily appearance.
In high school, most teens become conformists, and can become cruel to those who appears to be different from the norm. Unfortunately, this makes a permanent imprint, as some will continue to judge others for trivial or superficial reasons.
So Do You Care
There are valid reasons why you’re not liked, or ignored. So it becomes important that you personally don’t make this situation worse, by blaming yourself. It will just make you feel miserable, on something you can’t do anything about.
All what blaming yourself does, is just sends you spiraling down a path of self-doubt and hatred. Or you’ll just turn this anger outwards, and the bitterness turns into revenge. This isn’t ideal if you’re wanting to make friends, or have peace of mind.
What you need is to take a good hard look at yourself, and how you come across and interact with others. There may be specific mannerisms or behaviors, that causes others to dislike you. Realize that there are some behaviors you can change.
To Be More Likable
The majority of these behaviors can be altered or be stopped, this once you become aware of them, this so others will like you more. So ask yourself:
• Is your demeanor constantly negative while complaining all the time. Most find this extremely annoying
• Do you actively participate in starting conversations with others, or do you just hold back and force them to begin the conversation. If so, what’s then needed is learning how to improve your conversational skills, making others want to talk to you
• Do you endlessly just talk about yourself, showing no interest in those you’re talking too. If you talk too much, most will become bored with your constant chatter, as you appear you’re just interested in yourself
• Do you go out of your way to try pleasing others, always agreeing, never having your own opinion. People just won’t like you for being a doormat
• Do you constantly say things that hurts the feelings of others, even if they know you’re joking. Do you gossip mean things behind their back. If so, no one will like you, as they think you’re talking smack about them as well
Do You Want To Be My Friend
If you’re wanting to make friends and be liked, it comes down to personal development. Continue to approach people, make conversation, reduce or remove all your annoying habits.
If you’re wanting to make friends with those you encounter, this in school or at the workplace where you constantly see them, appeal to those who you confide in the most. You can begin with your immediate social group or club, where there are like minded people.
Work on developing your positive qualities, so you can appeal to those who you have a lot in common with. Continue to search out people who’ll like you, while accepting that not everyone will.