Everyone knows someone who they have a difficult time liking, this because of their sour disposition. This person easily offends, comes across as aloof or cold hearted. They’re rude, has a big ego, as their aura of smug arrogance precedes them. There’s not many who likes this person.
Now contrast that with someone you know, who you and everyone else who happens to meet them, instantly adores them, as they’re extremely accommodating to get along with. What they have, is a pleasant outgoing friendly agreeable personality. What is it that makes some more easier to like, while others not so much.
It comes down to a variety of personality traits, the elemental forces which identifies and reveals the fundamental ingredients, which drives the individuals modes of thoughts, feelings, and behavior.
There are several distinct determinants on how a personality is developed, molded, and displayed, which reveals how likable one becomes.
Traits Of A Personality
Someone who’s likeable has emotional stability, as they’re not vulnerable or prone to negative emotional experiences, such as anxiety or depression. This particular trait, once flipped, is known as being neurotic.
Other major traits of the lovable, is that they genuinely enjoy being with others, as they’re warm and eternally optimistic, and outgoing. They’re an open book, who values new experiences along with differing points of view.
They’re easy to agree with others, they’re cooperative, and won’t take offense towards criticism. They’re conscientiousness, punctual, and will fulfill all the commitments they make.
Traits Of The Likeable
These traits are considered unrelated to each other, which means if one scores high on being extroverted for instance, doesn’t tell the entire story of that person, such as they’ll be agreeable or likable.
What it shows however, is traits tend to correlate with each other, meaning if they show a strong behavior in one area, it usually translates into others. For instance, someone who’s constantly open to new experiences, are likely to be friendly and cooperative as well.
To Have Emotional Intelligence
Another reason why someone is likable, is they having high emotional intelligence, which is considered to be a counterpart of cognitive intelligence.
Someone who scores high on emotional intelligence, are extremely good at reading the emotions of others, while displaying empathy by knowing how they feel.
They recognize and express their compassion, while at the same time, are able to control their own emotional expressions.
Emotional intelligence (EI) has two distinctions, which are “trait” emotional intelligence, where individuals are able to perceive their own EI.
The other is “ability” EI, which is the ability to demonstrate their emotional intelligence, such as reading the emotions of others, this through facial expressions or mannerisms.
Personality Traits And Emotional Intelligence
These are the two patterns, when it comes to the clinical research on those who are likable. These theories are approached from different viewpoints of thought.
What personality trait research has focused on, is identifying all of the fundamental ingredients, which drives our typical modes of behavior, feelings, and thoughts.
Emotional intelligence, is the ability of knowing and then reacting to certain situations, to be able to read and then respond to the behavior of others.
To Combine The Forces
What researchers have performed is a meta-analysis study, which brings together these two opposing forms of likability traits.
What they aligned, combined, were the results from a variety of studies which included a host of participants, to examine the association between personality traits and emotional intelligence.
What the research study did was use factor analysis, which is a statistical technique that’s able to reveal how the individual questions, tend to cluster together.
For instance, what factor analysis reveals, is that the answers given by the participants, on issues such as emotional stability, tends to be similar.
To Be A More Sociable Person
What everyone wants is to be liked, to fit in socially, to be accepted by their friends, family, and peers. So what refining social skills does, is brings together a variety of advantages in life, most notably, to win over and positively influence others.
What this does is invites a host of opportunities, this to succeed at business, make friends, attract and build romantic interests and relationships. If one fails to achieve social competence, what that triggers is running the risk of failing in other areas of their life.
What becoming mindful of oneself provides, is insight towards better bonding human behavior, which basically instructs one on how to become more effective at interacting with others, which is the key building block of being liked.
What being likable and socially competent does is takes practice, as there are a variety of ways on how we can shine from the results, based on the various studies conducted.
The most obvious is once you meet someone, this especially for the very first time. To be liked, always be warm, open, and be receptive to all the forms of personality types along with emotional intelligence.
Basically, the general rule appears to be, not give off the impression of being socially uncomfortable, even if you are.
To Show Your Social Graces
It all comes down to how you present yourself, this regardless of how much turmoil or uncertainty you feel internally at that moment. Traits such as looking at others directly in the eye, a firm handshake, smile, while remembering and using their name.
Being likable is one of the key factors to success, this in every area of life. From getting invited somewhere or anywhere, getting hired, or fitting in with the cool kids.
It’s being liked, that opens the door to where you’re wanting to go or reach. Being liked is that magnetic force, which naturally pulls others towards you.