If The Way To A Man’s Heart Is Through His Stomach – Then Humor Is The Girls Best Friend

Humor, especially if it’s funny, some will say, is the pure essence of life, and this is especially true when attempting to woo a girl, no matter where you are. Whether it be a first date or you are meeting for the very first time. Make the girl laugh, and it’s almost guaranteed that you’re closer to her than most, and even maybe getting them to go out with you again.

But, to make them laugh, well, it has to be funny, so it’s easier said than done. So for those who find it rather difficult to come up with something actually funny, here are some proven funny anecdotes as well as wise cracks that you can memorize and use when in those situations where you need to get that girl to laugh.

1) The Prescription:
So Betsy walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist for arsenic.
The man behind the counter asks in wonder, “Now what do you need arsenic for?
Betsy calmly replies,” I want to kill my husband.”
The pharmacist was then taken aback,” What? That’s crazy? Both of us will end up in jail and, why would you want to kill him anyways? Just go see a counselor. Get some help for your marriage.”
Betsy then paused for a moment and then got some pictures from her purse of her husband with the pharmacists wife in some very creative postures.
The pharmacist looked at the pictures, puts them down and smiled,” lady, why didn’t you tell me you have a prescription?”

ok…ok… Not that funny. We’re just warming up.

2) The Tip Book

A wife asks her husband, “Steve, have you seen my book, “101 Tips to Live for More Than a 100 Years?”
Steve sheepishly replies, “Uhhh… I burnt it.”
“What?” the wife shouted,” why the hell would you do that?”
The husband replies,” Because your mother wanted to read it.”

Hello? Hello? Is this mike on? Is anyone still reading? Can you hear me?

3) Range of Food
Watching his new wife frying meat balls in all different kinds of sizes and shapes, Thomas taps her on the shoulder and asks, “What are you doing?”
His wife turns and say” Because you asked for a different variety of food.”

4) Mushrooms
John was picking mushrooms one Sunday afternoon from the forest floor with his wife Susan. She picked one up and showed it to John,” Is this one for eating?”
John smiled,” Yes, As long as you do not cook it.”

What? These are terrible, not funny.

5) Driving Around
Dave greeted his newly married wife when she returned home,” So dear, how did it feel, how was your first time you driving all alone by yourself?”
His wife coyly replied, “Do you want me to tell you or do you want to read about it in the papers?

6) Drama
A couple were watching a movie in the local theater when the wife suddenly snuggles up close to her husband and then points to the screen,” Bill, Do you think they will get married in the end?”
The husband sighs,” Yes. These movies always have bad endings.”


7) The Library
Tom visits the local library, walks up to the librarian and asks, “Do you have the book, The Supremacy of Men over Women?” The librarian then conducts a search and looks up,” Yes, you’ll be able to find that book in the science fiction section.”

Man, these are horrible jokes, just filler for this blog post. Not funny at all. Sad. The real joke are these lame jokes.

While these are not funny, hopefully you get the idea and hopefully you have a better sense of humor.

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