Did you know that the latest stats show that there are now 50.2% percent who are single, this appears the new trend. So although this is becoming the majority, it’s the holiday season which intensifies the feelings of being alone, this when one is single during this time.
This when one doesn’t feel that merry or that bright. The festivities kick off and then it should become a snowball of great joy with friends and family, the traditions, but it’s not always the most joyous time of year for some. This if becoming single was recent.
You may of gone through a breakup, suddenly lost a loved one, or simply feel alone. What the joyous frolicking holidays can do is put a spotlight and magnify your grief.
While others hope, wish that you’re happy and comfortable during the holidays, it’s not always that easy to remain positive, this especially if it’s on you. Emotional healing takes time and it can not read the calendar.
Know What Too Expect
The culture that is the holidays is that it’s a festive happy time when friends and families bond, loved ones celebrate another year. The commercialization of the holidays makes this time appear flawless, but life isn’t like that.
So it’s best to know what to expect, that this year, the holidays are going to be a difficult time for you. Once you treat the holiday season knowing it could get rocky, then you’ll be more resilient and prepared for it.
If you’re single by your own choosing, or unforeseen circumstances apply, you still need to put up that brilliant happy exterior of what’s expected of the season.
Also, some may not get along with certain family members or in-laws, and then forced to confront them over Christmas dinner, igniting feelings which aren’t appropriate. Realize you’re not alone when you feel upset and angry.
Tell Them Maybe Next Year
There’s not need to put yourself through the angst, it’s better to be kind to yourself. It’s perfectly acceptable to dismiss yourself, opt out of certain events during the holidays, the ones which brings you the pain.
This could be the annual Christmas party at work where you don’t have a date, or certain invites by friends. Most will understand and show their empathy.
Create Your Own Traditions
What ignoring the holidays however will do is just delay the healing period or amplify the loneliness. So instead of just forgoing the holidays, start new rituals.
Go on a ski trip or go celebrate on a warm beach somewhere. If you’ve hosted Christmas every year, allow someone else to take over. Find others in the same situation and begin a holiday get together with regularly scheduled meetings.
Or Do Traditional Things
Remember all the great times you’ve had previously, and include those traditions into your new ones. Share the stories of the good times that made you laugh. Make a toast to them on New Year’s Eve.
Engage in something which helps you feel connected to someone during all the happier times. It could be watching your favorite movies, or ordering Chinese takeout on Christmas eve.
Help Others In Need
Helping others who are less fortunate is proven to brighten your day, this especially at this time of the year. So volunteer to go visit kids in hospitals, sing carols at the local elderly nursing home, go visit the local pet shelter.
Do things which will help in taking the focus off yourself, which reinforces how fortunate you really are. Volunteer and charity work reminds you that there’s good in the world.
Build or create something which will help others out, and all that’s needed is your time and support. Take the focus off yourself, and develop ways on how you can help those out who are in more dire situations than you are.
Plan A Schedule For The Holidays
Plan out beforehand exactly what you’re going to do, this when you have several days off for yourself. Plan something for the critical times such as Christmas Eve and New Years Eve, when you know you’ll be alone.
Schedule some type of grounding activity that you can look forward to, something that will keep you occupied until the “normal” life resumes in the New Year.
The plans don’t need to be a social event. It could be television to catch up on, helping the local soup kitchen, going to see a play or concert. What ever event that may be, make sure you write it down in your calendar, and then do it.
Be Mindful Of The Post-holiday Blues
Leading up to the holidays can be a time filled with stress and anxiety, but what studies show is that the days and immediate weeks following New Years are the toughest, because most don’t prepare for the let down.
All the hustle and bustle, the commotion of holiday planning will keep most busy and distracted, but once the big day is over, what invariably hits is the void soon after, this especially once the credit card bills come in.
So plan not just for the holidays, but brace yourself for the weeks following. Go join a fitness club, rid of your vices, schedule coffee with friends and family, go for a well deserved vacation.
Just Have A Good Time
At times, some will just feel guilty celebrating the holidays, even if it’s not justified. You can and are able to have a good time, or even an “okay” time during the holidays, so just go enjoy yourself.
The entire holiday experience can be an overwhelming one, where every emotion is exposed and brought to the forefront. So just hang on and enjoy yourself the best you can.