To some, digging down deep and developing the courage to Forgive may be a difficult thing to do. Ego and pride are usually involved, and as a result, it may become painstakingly difficult, until it’s too late.
Then there are the courageous who has decided that forgiveness is the end resolution if they’re wanting to vaporize that dark cloud that’s following them by burying the past. This allows them to freely move on with their lives, both mentally and physically. In some cases, their chronic health problems even dissipate.
There are even programs designated to teach the philosophy behind why we should forgive others, such as an aging parent, since they, similar to us, were most likely doing the best that they could under the circumstance that they were under.
There are also religions which teach and promote that forgiveness is the compassionate and the fair thing to do. This because we have all committed varying degrees of “sins” in the past, or may have directly or indirectly hurt others, intentional or not.
Forgiveness Is A Vital Step
For those in the professional health related fields, such as clinical medical practitioners, they also believe that forgiving others is necessary as well as a healthy step towards healing oneself. Some go as far as stating that simple forgiveness releases certain diseases.
So although all of these therapists along with spiritual leaders advise and recommend the importance of forgiveness, at times, others will claim that forgiveness may not be possible.
The Right To Forgive
Unfortunately, at times, we haven’t been given the permission to be able to choose not to forgive. There’s also a belief among others that forgiveness isn’t a necessary step for healing, and in some situations, may not even be a healthy thing to do. This may especially be true when forgiving may resign oneself to giving permission to somehow they hurting you again.
At times, for a variety of reasons, you need to hang on to the very thing which will prevent you from forgiving, this in order to be able to survive or cope, which includes anger.
How Anger Leads Towards Forgiveness
Anger, if allowed to fester can be an extremely powerful motivator, especially for those who feel that they’ve been somewhat wronged or victimized. Anger can also help us in rising above the victimization, forcing us to fight our way back from that devastating trauma.
For instance, recent research has shown that when it comes to any form of physical abuse, the victims who allowed themselves to openly express their rage towards the abuse were able to recover quicker from the trauma.
This much quicker than those who were never allowed or able to get angry. It’s often this anger which motivates them to continue facing and then fighting off or eliminating the pain.
In the case of mental abuse, it’s often the anger element which helps them feel separated from what they went through. This since the anger can separate them from others.
They also need to display their anger in order to mask or ward off feelings of guilt or shame, where they will usually begin to blame themselves for their victimization.
Eventually and hopefully, there comes that time when the individual will no longer require or need to display their anger. Once this occurs, they’ll then be more or less able to forgive, closing that chapter in their lives and moving on to the road of recovery.
But each person needs to decide and reach this point on their own accord, and not be pressured, pushed, or shamed into forgiving since it’s the only “politically correct” thing that they should be doing.
Putting The Past Behind You
No one is perfect, everyone is trying their best under the given circumstances, and it’s not always the perfect or the correct thing to do. Opening your heart and hand and then giving your forgiveness will remove a burden off your shoulders, freeing you by removing mental, physical and health blockages which may be holding you back. So why hang on to that grudge on someone, just learn to forgive.
You may not think that it’s even possible to forgive, but be the bigger person that’s in you and let bygones be bygones. That’s the first and direct path to healing. Major illnesses can be cured this way.
Often times, who you feel that did you wrong doesn’t even know or realize what they did, and as a result are living a life forever perplexed. So why not just take the high road and decide to forgive.
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