Coming across and making a good first impression, is key when it comes to our social lives. Imagine that you’re on a date or a job interview, how you come across, the reaction that you make on the other person, either spells failure or success in the interaction. Decides if they like you or not.
To be well-received, what’s needed is to instantly and effectively convey qualities such as being trustworthy, warm, and competent. But at times we’re awkward, aloof, or come across as being too arrogant or shy. So what needs to be refined, is tuning up our impression management techniques.
There are some who are extremely gifted and polished at presenting themselves, this towards others in a positive light.
Once someone doesn’t, it’s thought that they don’t have the manners or the mental energy, that’s needed to properly navigate these social situations.
To Present Well
What self-presentation involves, is that one must first know the exact image that they’re wanting to portray to others. Then they need to strategically and accurately present that image.
Mindfully presenting this image, is what experts claim taxes mental resources. What trying to make a positive impression, does is takes self-regulation along with self-control, which requires effort.
For instance, once someone becomes cognitively distracted or overloaded, what they can become is overly boastful, which doesn’t jive that well with others.
Making Poor Impressions
What’s thought is that some just represents themselves poorly, not because of a lack of energy or resource depletion, but because of certain unconsidered factors.
This includes not taking the other person’s perspective, not seeing their point-of-view. What impression management does, is refers to the ability for one to anticipate what the other is thinking, which is difficult for some.
When it goes awry, it’s because of “guessing” wrong, which is revealed by the negative emotional reaction of the other person.
Another Factor Is Narcissism
Initially, the narcissist and their energy is entertaining and enduring. But over time, their arrogance and antagonism begins to reveal themselves, as you realize they don’t give a crap about what you think, which repels you.
What narcissist’s believe is they’re more superior than others, and thus will make downward comparisons, while disparaging them.
They also have a lack of empathy, perspective, and low self-esteem. What failing to take the viewpoints of others, does is contributes to a negative impression.
“I’m Better Than You”
Self-aggrandizing displays doesn’t sit well with most, which leaves a bad taste. What those who constantly presents themselves in self promoting ways, this whether they’re right or not, becomes annoying.
What they’ll constantly do is compare themselves to others, always in a favorable light, such as “I’m a better person to be friends with, than that person.”
If someone isn’t as self-enhancing as they are, what they’ll make are non-comparative or unfair assertions when dealing with them. “I’m undoubtedly far superior than you, and the best person here.”
Almost everyone becomes wary or annoyed of this, once the individual makes downward social comparisons, this regardless of whether the situation is either academic, social, or friendship.
What bothers them, wasn’t that the offending person had a negative viewpoint on them, but everyone else as well. They’re then forced to become self-protective, which can turn into hostility and antagonism.
This is a form of impression mismanagement, when someone is constantly bragging about themselves, but it’s disguised as complaining.
For instance, say that an attractive lady posts on Facebook. “My hair is a mess because it’s raining outside,” or “I just woke up from a nap so I’m grouchy, but I still got likes, so I’m confused!”
By appearing humble, what a person does is draws attention towards their positive attributes, this in a manner that’s seemingly unoffensive.
But, what using this tactic can do is backfire, because the sincerity of the post comes into question, which leads to a negative impression.
What someone who constantly brags does, is fails to consider how important coming across as being genuine is. Perceived insincerity then becomes critical to interpersonal appeal. Constantly bragging then becomes less effective, than complaining.
What’s known is that complainers are regarded as being more sincere and likeable, than those who brag while coming across as being humble. What these “humble braggarts” believe is they can mask their ulterior motives, but are usually exposed.
Being A Hypocrite
Hypocrisy are those who claims a certain image of themselves, but fails to live up to the standards of that image.
What they’ll do is constantly “talk the talk,” but fail to walk the walk, this especially around moral issues.
Being a hypocrite can work, if the divergent behavior remains concealed. But once it’s exposed, the hypocrite will then be disliked, more than those who behaves like a hypocrite, and then claims the image.
Backhanded Sarcastic Compliments
A backhanded sarcastic compliment is an insult that’s disguised, cloaked in some form of praise, where they’re purposely being condescending to the individual they’re flattering.
For instance, “I didn’t think you would do that well on the exam. That’s great, congratulations.” What they’re implying is that they’re being sincere, but they’re also smarter, more intelligent than you are.
What people like are compliments, and see them favorably, but will recoil when it’s a backhanded compliment. These bids, attempts for superiority then fails spectacularly.
What this person is concerned with, is how others evaluate them. Where in fact, they’re likely to gain more respect, this when they appear unconcerned, regarding how others view them, which takes self-regulation along with self-control, which requires effort.
For instance, once someone becomes cognitively overloaded or distracted, what they become is more sarcastic, which just doesn’t go over that well with most people.