How To Choose The Proper Freelance Ghost Writer

Mar.08.2010 Best Unbiased Reviews, Books and Ebooks, Business and Technology, Internet Marketing, News and Current Events (0)

When you have a writing project that needs a special touch, consider choosing a professional freelance writer (or ghostwriter) to make it shine. Finding a professional writer can seem a daunting task, especially if you’ve never done it before, but choosing one is much the same as choosing any other vendor for your business. Its important to consider which writer has the skills to deliver a quality product, and the professionalism to do so on time and with minimum hassle to you.

About Professional Freelance Writing
Freelance writing is a unique industry, and it helps to understand a little bit about how it works. A freelance writer is someone who takes on writing projects for hire, usually based on the number of words or pages required. He or she is an independent contractor who works with you to finalize project specifications and deliver a final product that meets with your approval.

First Define Your Project
The first step to successfully finding a writer is to define your project. This is a crucial step because if you don’t have a clear outline of your requirements, and needs then choosing a freelance writer will be somewhat like finding your way through a forest in the dark.

So how do you define a project clearly enough for commissioning copywriting that will meet your needs?

Here are a few things to consider:
- Does your outline list required topics and sub-topics?
- Does your outline clearly define project milestones and benchmarks?
- Does your outline specify the required word count?
- Does your outline specify relevant deadlines and due dates?
- Are the project time lines and deadlines reasonable?
- Does your outline contain acceptable contract terms and conditions?

Choosing Writers
The key to ensuring quality project results is learning a bit about choosing a writer. Much like shopping for a car, choosing an author for your project is a process of considering your needs and looking for a freelance writer who can provide the quality you want at the price you can afford. Not all writers are created alike, so you should carefully consider the qualities you are seeking and evaluate potential contractors accordingly.

Some of the elements you should evaluate are:
Experience
References and feedback
Writing samples
Style and readability
Responsiveness to inquiries
Reasonable terms and requirements

Above all else, choosing an author for your project involves matching your needs with the person who will deliver an exceptional product.

Look For Experience
How do you know which writer will deliver that exceptional product? One likely indicator is experience. Look for a writer who has completed projects similar to yours in scope and stature. Ask for writing samples and references, and check them thoroughly.

Don’t be shy about expecting a freelance writer to provide you with this information. On the contrary, he or she should be happy to supply you with samples that illustrate their skills and style. Take the time to read the samples you receive and look for materials that are similar to what you’re seeking. If you don’t see anything thats close to the type of project you have, then look for writing styles that are engaging, easy to understand, and capture the attention of the reader. A skillful freelance writer can adapt to whatever style you want, as long as you’re specific about your needs. Reliability Is Important

Freelance writers are, by their very nature, creative and open to many types of writing. However, some are not terribly disciplined about meeting deadlines and providing copy that’s timely and error free. Its not that they’re bad people; its just that they havent developed the reliability that buyers rely on when they hire a professional writer.

Checking references is a good way to gauge the reliability of a freelance writer, as is your general experience dealing with them during the project negotiation stages. For example, if a writer agrees to provide you with a bid by a certain date, you should expect to receive it on time. If a writer agrees to provide specific information about their bid proposal, you should expect to receive it in full. If not, then it may be a red flag for you as a buyer. If a writer isn’t reliable during the project negotiation stages, then can you depend on them to be reliable with delivery of your project?

Professionalism And Customer Focus
Your project is important to you, so any professional writer who agrees to complete it owes you professional service with a customer focus. You can get somewhat of a sense for these attributes during the contract negotiation process, but there’s no substitute for checking references and reviewing feedback.

In today’s world where a great deal of freelance writing is contracted via specialized web sites, its fairly easy to find feedback about a specific writer. Most web sites that match writers with projects also include a section for clients to leave feedback about a writers performance. Take the time to read these comments and take them to heart, paying particular attention to any statements that refer to the writers professionalism and focus on customer satisfaction.

Choosing a writer is a daunting task if you have never dealt with the world of freelance writing before. With a little preparation and a willingness to do your homework, youll find that choosing a writer is not quite as hard as it seems. Look for indicators that reassure you of a writers experience and reliability, and make sure your project is well defined.

When you have a writing project that needs the touch of a professional writer, its well worth the time to hire a professional writer who will provide you with an excellent end product.

Fight, Flight, or Loving Action

Mar.07.2010 Best Unbiased Reviews, Health and Medical, News and Current Events (0)

Fight or flight - our automatic response to danger. When fear is present, adrenaline pours into our system to prepare us to fight or flee - from the tiger, the bear, the lava from the volcano.

Fight or flight - today we automatically respond this way to the present dangers, the deep fears that come up in relationships: rejection and engulfment - fears of loss of other and loss of self.

Often, when we feel rejected and fear the loss of the other, we fight for love not to go away by defending, explaining, blaming, attacking, complying, fixing, or we flee through withdrawal. Often, when we feel engulfed and fear losing ourselves through being controlled by another, we flee through resistance or withdrawal, or fight by attacking, defending, or explaining. Just as our ancestors fought or fled from physical danger, we fight and flee from emotional danger. The problem is that, while fight or flight is appropriate in the face of physical danger, this same behavior in the face of emotional fear causes deep problems in relationships.

When we respond automatically to the fears of losing ourselves and losing another, we behave in the very ways that create fear in the other. Our fight or flight reactions create fear in the other person - the same fears of losing themselves or losing us. Our fighting and fleeing activates others fear of rejection and engulfment, creating a vicious circle of fighting and fleeing.

These unconscious, automatic reactions to emotional danger were learned long ago, when we were very small and had to rely on fight or flight as part of our survival. Today they are now longer necessary for our survival, and need to be replaced with loving actions toward ourselves and others.

What does it mean to take loving action in the face of another’s fight or flight behavior? Where do we get the role modeling for what it looks like to take loving action in the face of another’s unloving behavior? Most of us had parents who did not role model loving action in the face of conflict. We have not seen much of it on TV or in movies. How do we learn to take loving action in our own behalf when in conflict with another - action that takes care of ourselves without violating or threatening another?

This role modeling exists in the form of our spiritual Guidance. Tapping into this Guidance is not as hard as you may think - it just takes practice and a deep desire to move out of fight or flight and into loving action.

The steps we can take to move out of automatic fight or flight and into loving actions are:
1. Start to attend to your feelings, the physical sensations within your body that let you know when you are anxious or afraid.

2. Stop and breathe when you feel fear or anxiety in the face of conflict, or in the face of anothers fight or flight behavior. Give yourself some breathing time to make a conscious decision rather than go on automatic pilot.

3. Open to learning with the source of spiritual Guidance that is always here for all of us by asking with a sincere desire to know, What is the loving action? What is in my highest good and the highest good of the other? Asking this question with a deep desire to learn opens the door to receiving information. It does not matter whether you are asking this of your own highest self within, or from an external source of wisdom. The information will come in the form of words, pictures, or feelings when you sincerely want to be loving to yourself and others.

4. Take action on the information you receive.

Examples of loving action are:
1. Move into compassion for the other person, recognizing that he or she would not be in fight or flight without being in fear. Asking the other person, again from a deep desire to learn, what he or she is afraid of that is causing this behavior may de-escalate the situation and lead to understanding and healing.

2. If the other person is not open to calm discussion and exploration of the conflict, disengage from the interaction, speaking your truth without anger or blame. For example, you might say, I dont want to fight with you. Im going to take a walk and lets try to talk about it later. Or, This isnt feeling good between us. Lets take a break and get together later.

3. If the other person has withdrawn from you, loving action may be to do something fun or nurturing for yourself.

Both staying and learning together or taking some time apart to reflect on the issues or self-nurture will break the cycle of each person going into fight or flight in reaction to the other persons fight or flight. It takes conscious practice to stop going into automatic behavior, but the payoff is well worth the time it takes to practice loving action.

The Project Management Method Is It A Curse or a Blessing

Mar.04.2010 Best Unbiased Reviews, Business and Technology, Internet Marketing, News and Current Events (0)

Project management is an area of expertise that has undergone some significant development in the last decade. A business project can have a far-reaching effect on the business and result in either tremendous improvement in the businesses ability to function in the marketplace or a significant setback to that business entity.

The idea of a formalized project management approach has been around for quite some time. So it was not uncommon for any manager to find themselves learning the discipline of a structured project management system. That project methodology takes any given business or IT project through the same standardized steps from conception through implementation.

Those steps would include
*Project definition
*Needs analysis and requirements definition.
*Cost benefit analysis.
*Project scope.
*Project schedule and budget.
*Detailed specifications
*Development
*Testing
*Training
*Deployment

By utilizing a standardized process of doing all projects the same way, using the same reporting methods and tools, there is an economy of skills in that the project leaders and team members become adept at navigating these steps. Further, by using the same systems and criteria, a scale of evaluation as to the effectiveness of the system is developed so the ability of project teams to do well over time improves.

It was natural that this standardized method would become codified and finally developed into a well-developed system that could that molds all projects to a single standard. By developing an industry wide method that requires strict training and adherence to the same terms, tool sets and definitions of success, the intuitive nature of judging project effectiveness is reduced. And so the Project Management Method was developed whereby project managers can undergo strenuous and exacting training in a standardized method that would be enforced via certification across the whole of the business community.

Whether or not the PMM represents a curse or a blessing to the business world depends to a large extent on individual applications of the method. Also measurements and observations on whether the method itself introduces efficiency to the process of project management or just another layer of bureaucracy.

There are some strong positives to utilizing a methodology that is standardized at an industry level. Those project managers who have gone through the certification process can be depended on to implement that system the same way in each business setting. As such, the process of finding qualified project managers becomes simplified because the certification process alone communicates to the business that it can expect the PMM system to be implemented correctly.

By putting into place an external method of certification and measurement of excellence, the project manager career begins to take a high level of professionalism similar to in the legal and medical fields. So the PMM movement represents a maturing of the IT and project management disciplines as they move toward greater levels of accountability and control.

The dangers come in implementation of the PMM methodology on a project by project basis. In order for a PMM certified manager to live by his credentials, all projects must conform to a standard mold. The unique nature of each project may not easily fit into the PMM process of systematization.

In addition, the PMM system is heavily dependent on a large amount of meetings to document that the project is adhering to standards and a methodical documentation process from which there is little room for variation or accommodation. The PMM is a complex methodology so the tool sets that must be used to track the process can be expensive and difficult to use.

Define Your Business Objectives
The outcome is that the introduction of the PMM system can cause the actual business objectives of the project to take on a secondary priority to the high standards of PMM itself. Project leaders working under the requirements of the PMM can become more accountable to the methodology itself and lose sight of what is good for the business or what is efficient in terms of getting the project completed.

There is very little room for creativity or individual judgment within the confines of the PMM and that is problematic because the nature of business problems have historically depended on the judgment and creative problem solving skills of middle management. By dominating the project process with the needs of the PMM methodology, excessive cost is introduced as well as cumbersome requirements that do not benefit the business or the project itself.

Essential Tips On Increasing Your Website Exposure

Mar.02.2010 Best Unbiased Reviews, Business and Technology, Internet Marketing, News and Current Events, Social Media (1)

It is not the same old Internet anymore as far as marketing goes. There are new ways to promote your website, that will benefit you by adding extra traffic to your site. The basic concept that content is king along with correct keyword usage, is still the way to go.

Blogs
The number one Internet marketing plan for drawing customers into your website is the use of a blog. A blog is a continual updated online journal on your personal views or news related subject matters. People that read your blog are constantly aware of your ideas and thoughts, especially those concerning your business or products. The benefit of promoting your company through a blog is the fact that the search engines love blogs. Fresh new content and a few good keywords thrown in will push you higher up on the engine rankings. People will see it and more customers will click to your site.

In your blog, be sure to add valuable customer information such as product information, or business advice. This draws customer interest. In addition, other bloggers may wish to link with to your blog site, and you can draw in customers from their blogs. That will continually feed your ranking and over time; customer loyalty backed by trust will drive your website and feed new customers into your email. However, without RSS feeds, Really Simple Syndication, your blog may be doomed to fail. RSS feeds work by aggregating the information and outlay it to the customer. The customer will need to have a web browser or special software that can read RSS feeds. Most any information is fed into an RSS feed. The good thing about using a web blog with a RSS Feed is that often your information gets to the news media. A well-written blog with timely advice and resources lends you as creditable in your business area. Be prepared, you could have a reporter knocking at your door.

Proper Coding
Another area in which you can spice up your website is with the use of PHP coding. One of the drawbacks to using an RSS feed is that because it is a dynamic page the spiders will not catch it quick enough. For example, if it has to wait too long to index it with the code intact, it will just move on. There are things you can do to work with the PHP language, and it will benefit you to learn. With PHP, you can make your pages on the site look like HTML files. Do not forget to use the idea of text links as well. Back links to other great sites is a method you can use for more website exposure. With SEO, Search Engine Optimization, companies use text link marketing to get their site into higher rankings. You can use auctions where you bid only on what you think you need, or through a brokerage, you can buy and sell text links. Just like with banners, you can change exchange links too.

Bookmarking
Bookmarking and the ways that you can use them has come a long way. Most agree that getting someone to bookmark your site will lead to future traffic. People rarely ask for a customer to bookmark their site though. There are software programs that you can use to make book marking automated. All you have to do is to provide a link and your customers can bookmark easily. Some Java script software will automatically bookmark your site for your customer. A simple Please bookmark this site button is often enough to get the customer to bookmark. Certain software applications will also add a special icon when the customer saves the site. This makes it easy to standout from the other bookmarked sites. Pop-ups help you to get your customer to bookmark as well.

The better you are at implementing these marketing tools the more traffic you will see, and hopefully the profits will follow. So make sure you learn all you can about these marketing trends and go grab some lifetime customers.

The Advantages Of Using And Applying Feng Shui In Your Daily Life

Mar.01.2010 Best Unbiased Reviews, Health and Medical, News and Current Events (0)

Many people are fascinated with Feng Shui and with good reason. While others generally believe that it is just some oriental superstitious set of paradigms on interior design, (which is just part of the extensive definition for Feng Shui), the Feng Shui that we know now is actually comprised of various schools of learning and incorporates the different cultures under which it is housed.

The good thing about the different options pertaining to Feng Shui is that even the layman can actually be able to understand and apply it, immediately in their homes without having to spend too much money or time. And apart from that, there are other advantages that only Feng Shui can bring if you can actually open up your mind to try it.

Advantage Number 1: It brings balance to ones life
Have you ever found yourself completely overburdened with clutter and unnecessarily stressed out of your wits? Chances are, you are suffering from a visual imbalance of some sort in your surroundings. Now, the best way to introduce some sense of balance is by incorporating elements that provide you with a sense of control in the outer balance of things. If you are able to get some semblance of balance even in things as menial as your furniture, you are bound to find balance in other aspects equally manageable.

Advantage Number 2: It helps you become more mindful of the little things
Mindfulness in the little things can actually be a good thing. Some of us tend to be heavily focused on the big things of life that even the minor details like home arrangement and office ergonomics no longer come to play. When these minor aspects of life continue to take a backseat, they tend to accumulate and produce a very stressful environment which can add up to other problems and worries of life.

Advantage Number 3: It opens up possibilities of meeting new people
Meeting new people is another bonus of being a Feng Shui enthusiast. When you are applying Feng Shui, chances are, you will be able to find another person within your social network who likes the same stuff and can even help you expand your knowledge on Feng Shui, no matter how limited it is to begin with.

Advantage Number 4: It gives a fresh perspective on things
At any given time, a fresh perspective is always welcome. This positive perspective can invite changes for the better. A new way of looking at home arrangement, for example, may actually serve to benefit you in the long run. The fresh perspective brought about by Feng Shui can actually bring about an enrichment of ones mind.

Advantage Number 5: It invites prosperity and success
The main objective of Feng Shui is to invite all the good things to ones life. Prosperity and success can be more easily within reach and a positive disposition may be expected if Feng Shui is practiced well.

Advantage Number 6: It has aesthetic appeal
On top of all the enumerated benefits of Feng Shui, the best would probably be its beauty. The physical appeal of a well-decorated home, interspersed with good Feng Shui techniques, is actually something that you can call a personal heritage that can transcend generations and promote beauty in all aspects, including design of the home and the office.

Characteristics Your Should Have To Be An Effective Entrepreneur

Feb.27.2010 Best Unbiased Reviews, Business and Technology, Internet Marketing, News and Current Events (0)

Before a doctor diagnoses a specific disease, his patient must undergo a series of laboratory exams and assessments. He has to know the history of his patient and how lifestyle affected his present health problem. As results come in, that would be an indication of the time when a physician gives specific drugs and therapies for maintenance. This will eventually contribute to the level of optimum health for that individual. If all else fails, the process will be repeated again.

Similar to what the above mentioned situation has stated, an entrepreneurs responsibility would be pretty much the same. Its just that, he should see his customers as his patients and what they must have to survive a present predicament or a need. He must follow certain steps before doing anything irrational that could contribute to the downfall of his business. He should have certain characteristics innate in his personality for if he lacks one of these, hes most probably doomed to fail.

Entrepreneurship is collectively defined as exhibiting ones vision, taking action, and pursuing that vision as a goal to be achieved in life as service to reality. In the meaningless definition, its getting your butt out of that couch and doing something rather than fulfilling your lifes destiny of being a couch potato. Stated below are some of the distinct attitudes an entrepreneur should positively have:

Optimism is foreseeing things in a positive way notwithstanding any circumstances that may hinder progress. The assertiveness of an individual depends on his knowledge of how to handle a difficult situation

Creativity is thinking outside the box. Expanding ones mind of what is beyond the ordinary through fine research and collection of data.

Stability either physical, mental, social or emotional, a leader must possess a stable life which means he could handle tough situations during tough times

Charismatic intelligence of communicating with different walks of life. Who says a charming man is less than an intelligent one? A good entrepreneur must have the certain magic glistening in his eyes and could convey enchanting words to get hold of that convincing power no one dare resist.

Risk-taker as someone beginning his own dream, he should be stern and must have the guts and the balls to take the big leap of plunging into his own doom or success. He should not be afraid of taking chances when opportunity strikes.

Energetic willing to do whatever it takes to reach to the finish line. His drive must always be at its highest level for being an entrepreneur would make you work overtime. His enthusiasm must prevail the next best thing.

Time bound like a written report in a newspaper, an entrepreneur must be on the top of every innovation. By looking at our past, we could predict our future.

Small businesses, in time, would turn out big if the scope of management exceeds what is expected. So it is necessary for a beginner to be positive about his endeavors. He must be very observant of what his environment lacks and needs. He should have sturdy shoulders to put on extra weight of carrying a responsibility that could change his or her life.

Ones greatest failure is sticking with the mentality of being conventional. This would be one of an entrepreneurs greatest downfalls. Think big. Act. Make your business dreams come true.

Four Signs That Your Wife May Be Cheating On You

Feb.25.2010 Best Unbiased Reviews, Celebrities and Entertainment, News and Current Events (0)

Do you suspect that your wife is cheating on you? If you do, you are definitely not alone. Infidelity is actually quite common these days. You can see the signs everywhere, and almost everyone has known someone who has been cheated on, in one way or another.

If you are a husband who thinks that your wife is cheating on you, there are a number of signs that you will want to be on the lookout for.
The following are four signs that could very well confirm your suspicions.

1 A Change in Appearance
If your wife has gone through a change in appearance, it could be a sign that she is cheating on you. What you will want to look for is small, but significant changes in appearance.

For example, has she always worn glasses but has all of a sudden opted for contact lenses? Has your wife recently started showing more skin? Dressing provocatively is a common sign of cheating, especially if your wife typically dresses conservatively. Switching perfumes or wearing it more often can be another sign of cheating. This can be done to impress a new man or to cover up another mans scent.

2 A Change in Affection
A change in the amount of affection that your wife gives you could be seen as a sign of having an affair. For example, has your love life been happy and healthy in the past? Was your relationship filled with fun, adventure, and great sex? If so, has that changed? If your wife no longer compliments you as she did before or does something as simple as pull away during a kiss, an affair may be going on. Many cheating women try to avoid close contact with their husbands in fear of getting caught or letting their guilt show.

3 Secrecy
A wife becoming more secretive can often point to an extramarital affair. For example, does your wife spend too much time on the phone or the internet? If so, what does she say when you ask her what she is doing? If you receive a nothing, or a not your business, response, something may be going on.

In keeping with phone and internet use, does your wife automatically hang-up the phone whenever you walk into a room? Does she shut off the computer or try to block your view of it? If so, your wife’s secrecy may mean that she is trying to cover up an affair.

4 Changes in Bills
One of the simplest ways to catch a cheating wife is to start paying your bills. In most relationships, this is the woman’s responsibility, but make it yours. Examine your wifes cell phone bills. Does it show what phone numbers are called or what numbers text messages and pictures are received from? Also, closely examine credit card bills. Are there expenses listed for hotel rooms, vacations, restaurants, or anything else that you have no idea about? If so, your wife may be cheating on you.

The above mentioned signs are just a few of the many that you will want to look for in a cheating wife. If you think that your wife is cheating on you, just be sure to keep your eyes and ears open. Unfortunately for the cheaters, they often make mistakes. Many women get so comfortable, that they slip up at one time or another. If you know what to look for, this is when you may be able to catch your wife cheating.

If you do find out that your wife is cheating on you, you may want to carefully approach the subject. Never confront your wife in front of your children. No matter how angry you are, do not get violent and try to keep your voice at a reasonable level. As hard as it can be, calming approaching the situation can better allow you and your wife to have an honest discussion. This where you can decide what will happen you to and your relationship next.

Falling For A Friend Is Nothing Out Of The Ordinary

Feb.19.2010 Best Unbiased Reviews, Health and Medical, News and Current Events, Social Media (0)

Falling in love with a friend is nothing out of the ordinary and happens quite often, especially between two people that share a lot of things in common with each other.

Friends usually spend a lot of time together. Friends often do the same things together. Commonality is the main reason people become friends. However there are times when too much familiarity can be mistaken for something more.

This type of situation happens mainly between friends of different gender. Kindness and friendly affection can easily be confused with feelings of love. Quite often, women are the ones that fall prey to this attraction. However many men have also been in the same situation.

Gestures that would normally mean nothing are misconstrued as something more than it is. A lot of people get mixed signals about friendships with the opposite sex. Situations like these are normal but it is up to the individual to figure how he or she will handle it.

Falling for a Friend Is it Mutual?
Is it mutual? People that end up falling for a friend should consider if the feeling is in fact mutual. Unfortunately most friendships are just friendships. Falling for a friend can one way or another complicates the friendship.

All people value friendship, especially with the opposite sex, since many find it hard to maintain a platonic relationship with the other sex. Because of this, they have a tendency to avoid situations wherein falling for a friend would virtually end the friendship.

In general, many men and women are true and dedicated friends. However there are some men and women who cannot resist their attraction to the opposite sex. Many romantics often fall victim to this situation and end up spoiling any chance of a successful relationship with the opposite sex.

How to Handle the Situation of Falling For a Friend
Once a person has established that he or she has indeed fallen for his or her friend, it is necessary to figure out the next move. The next move is crucial to the survival of the friendship. A person that has fallen in love with a friend can either take advantage of the situation or let the feeling pass.

Most of the time, a loyal friend would merely let the sentiment pass. Taking into account all the reasons why falling for a friend would be detrimental to the friendship. This is possibly because most romantic relationships never last whereas nearly all friendships last a lifetime.

A lot of people also let the feeling pass for fear of embarrassment. Especially if the feeling is not mutual, which is often the case when falling for a friend. Unfortunately this can also cause a person extreme anxiety that can also strain the friendship.

On the other hand there are some people who are willing to risk the friendship in the name of love. These individuals take the chance of freely expressing their feelings for a friend. However the person must also be ready to face the possibility that the feeling would not be reciprocated.

This makes the situation more complex as getting back into the friendship after a public declaration of affection can also strain the relationship. In most cases, both parties start to feel awkward in each others company. One feels guilty for expressing their emotion while the other feels guilty for being unable to return the affection.

However, if both parties genuinely share the feeling, then it would certainly be a match made in heaven for both parties. This means that the relationship has the opportunity of blossoming into a legitimate and possibly lasting relationship.

It would still require a lot of hard work and commitment from both parties involved. But keep in mind that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity that may or may not happen.

Falling in love with a friend is a tough situation for any man or woman to face. The risk of losing the friendship is imminent and even more painful for the aggrieved party. On the other hand falling for a friend can bring about a beautiful future between two people that genuinely care for one another provided both are willing to work at it.

Here Are Some Body Language Secrets You Should Be Aware Of

Feb.16.2010 Best Unbiased Reviews, Health and Medical, News and Current Events (0)

Even when you don’t say a word, other people can still learn a lot about what kind of person you are and what you are thinking and feeling.

How do other people do this? By studying your body language.
The term body language refers to the messages you send out with your body gestures and facial expressions.

Some body language experts claim that only about 7% of our messages to other people are communicated through the words we speak. The rest of our messages are conveyed through our body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions.

During your entire life you have been sending messages to others through your posture, gestures, and facial expressions.

When you were an infant, before you learned to speak, people were peering into your little baby face, looking at your gestures, and listening to your little cries and gurgles, trying to decipher what kind of mood you were in, and what you were trying to say.

And you have been reacting to the body language, voice tone, and facial expressions of the people around you all your life, even though you may not have been consciously aware of it.

What sort of messages are you conveying to others with your body language? Does your body language encourage other people to approach you? Or do you subconsciously warn them to stay away?

Take a moment to think about how you usually stand or sit when you are with other people. What are you doing with your hands? Where are you looking with your eyes?

Does your face express interest in the people you are with, or does your face stay a tense, stony mask?

When you are sitting or standing, do you usually cross your arms across your chest? If this is your typical way of standing or sitting, how do you think other people interpret this posture? Do you realize that most people will subconsciously interpret your arms crossed in front of your chest as a signal that you dont want anyone to approach you? Only the bravest souls are likely to come forward when you adopt this posture.

If you stand awkwardly, with your chest slumped forward, your shoulders drooping, and your eyes avoiding everyone else, people are likely to decide you are very depressed or completely lacking in confidence. They may fear that trying to talk with you will be an awkward experience.

When you stand awkwardly, you do not project any sign that you are confident in yourself, or that you have any interest in the people around you. Instead you look like you are trying to disappear.

No matter how desperately you want someone to come over and befriend you, if your body language projects awkwardness or disinterest in others, its not very likely that many people will try to start a conversation with you.

If some body language signals can frighten people away, are there signals that will encourage people to come forward and approach you? Yes, you can look much more approachable to others if you adopt body language that is open and non-threatening.

Whether you are sitting or standing, aim for a posture that is upright and alert, yet relaxed. If you notice that your chest or shoulders are slumping, straighten up.

Become aware of the way you are breathing. Does your breath move in and out smoothly? Or does it move with jerky little stops and starts?

If you notice that you are holding your breath, or breathing in a shallow, jerky manner, this is a sign of anxiety. When you breathe shallowly, you have to breathe more often, which can increase your appearance of nervousness. Consciously tell all the muscles of your body to relax. Use your abdomen to help you breathe smoothly and deeply. Let the bottom part of your lungs fill up with air as well as the top.

What are you doing with your hands?
If you get nervous in social situations, you may feel that no matter what you do with your hands, its the wrong thing. Many people who cross their arms in front of their chest are probably doing so at least in part because they dont know where else to put their hands.

You should never cross your arms in front of your chest unless you really dont want anybody to approach you. That is the message this gesture sends out.

If you want to look open and approachable, keep your arms at your sides, or put one hand in your pocket. If you want to hold something in one hand, keep your hand at the side of your body, and not in front of you. Holding your arm in front of your body can be seen as a signal that you want to defend yourself against other people.

Stay aware of and focused on your surroundings and the people around you. If you find yourself tuning out your surroundings, you will start to focus too much on your negative inner sensations and thoughts. This can quickly increase your anxiety to a very uncomfortable level.

What sort of facial expression should you have if you want people to approach you?

In most cases, a gentle, pleasant smile should do the trick. Too much of a smile that never softens can look forced and nervous. A pleasant smile with a twinkle in your eyes will convey to other people the impression that chatting with you will be a pleasant experience.

At All Times You Should Accentuate The Positive

Feb.15.2010 Best Unbiased Reviews, Health and Medical, News and Current Events (0)

How badly do you want your life to change and improve? How much have you studied up on self-help, personal development and success? How many articles and publications have you read? While research, thought and planning are important tools on your path to success, they are not the only weapons in your arsenal and in fact might even be hindering your success if you give into the easy choice of becoming a perpetual student of success.

If you read every self-help book available, then you will never become a success because there won’t be any time left to act upon the advice those publications offer. While it is good to listen to advice, eventually you are going to have to take action and that can’t be done while reading. Our every thought either takes us toward our goals and desires or away from those goals and desires. Therefore, every thought has a positive or negative effect on the direction of our lives.

Compare your brain to a computer. If a new PC is loaded up with virus contaminated programs, would you expect it to run smoothly? Of course not, because you get out of the computer exactly what you put in, as my former computer programming teacher always said “garbage in, garbage out” and your brain is exactly the same.

Your every thought determines the direction of your life. If you are moving backward then take time to analyze your thoughts. Make a determined effort to recognize negative thoughts and treat them as your worst enemy. Try not to dwell on them. Putty can be molded into any shape or form and so, too, your life can be shaped and your destiny set by your thoughts.

If you find yourself weighed down by a lot of negative thoughts find a way to let them out. If you have a considerate, nonjudgmental friend who is willing to listen, then vent. Pets are great sympathetic listeners. You can also use a journal to vent your negative thoughts. A good friend of mine recently went through a very difficult time, professionally and personally, and while she did a fair amount of crying on the shoulders of her loved ones she found it counterproductive because they were too sympathetic and that sympathy would often only emphasize her sense that she’d been wronged. She needed to find a way to break that cycle so she could move on. She wrote out her frustration and anger and then held a symbolic burning party. I haven’t tried her method myself but am holding it in reserve for future tough times.

Remember, the potential for change is the same for everyone. It only takes acceptance of the idea that change is possible coupled with the determination to follow through. It’s not always easy to control our thoughts, but certainly not impossible, and the rewards can last a lifetime.

There are many books on the subject of self-help, but remember, you must take action to succeed. Your thoughts will not change simple by reading an article or book. You must apply what you learn to your everyday affairs. Allow what you read to awaken the possibility of change within you, then take action.

One of the most beneficial practices for positive thinking is to look for the “good” in everyone and everything. Remember to encourage others everyday by a kind word or deed and be ready to offer (or receive) compliments.

Find opportunities to put the power of your positive thinking to work. For example, you might be standing in a long line at the supermarket checkout. Rather than get upset, do your utmost to help out and encourage others with a kind word or compliment. You will be surprised at the positive reaction and at how many people will bless you with a wonderful smile in return.

Just Do It… Be Positive
Taking the time to notice others and look for the “good” in every situation will not only lift your spirits, but will brighten the day for everyone around you - it’s a win-win situation to be sure. There are a 1001 ways to look for the good in others, be they family, friends or those you may only meet once. So, get the lead-out, get rid of those negative thoughts and become a winner.

Begin today to change your thought patterns one step at a time. Set yourself a goal for the week or month and devote full attention to controlling your thoughts. Start with at least one hour each day and increase the time as your confidence and thinking improve. It is a habit that needs nurturing and a habit you’ll come to cherish.

If you accentuate the positives in your life and concentrate on making more positive changes, then there will be no stopping you on your road to success.