We’ve all been there, ask someone for something with abated breath. A job, a date, a raise, a loan. We ask for forgiveness, love, a recommendation, only to be rejected. We start a business, we can’t get enough clients, we feel rejected. The devastation, the feeling of failure.
What rejection does is exposes feelings, which gives doubt about our self-worth, which raises questions about our value as human beings. That latest rejection, makes all our other accomplishments pale in comparison. We arbitrarily give rejection tremendous power, this much more than our own judgement of ourselves.
Inherent in this lies not only our sense of self esteem, self love, and acceptance, along with our self confidence being shot down, our personal security becomes violated.
To Be Turned Down
Then our usual strong sense of inner belief in ourselves as being worthy, deteriorates. What being rejected does is causes a ripple, shaking our core foundation.
If our sense of inner security becomes weakened, that it depends on validation from others, then the slightest rejection may prove to be as overwhelming as a lightening storm, and in its devastating annihilating power, robs us of initiative and becoming proactive.
Succeeding After Rejection and Failure
The insidious power of rejection can paralyze us, as we fear failure. This failure is implicit on rejection, this for those who identifies their inner security and self-worth based on external approbation and acceptance.
Yet, there are numerous occasions, instances where experiencing rejection was the stepping stone, for the most successful individuals in the world.
To overcome a simple “no” triggered them to try again. To take a different approach on the same idea. What it didn’t do was discourage them to quit, this when they were told they’d never succeed, but had the fortitude to refine and improve their ideas, to try again.
So what we need is to be aware of the power that is rejection, then brace ourselves, this by taking preventive measures, this in order that once we meet up with it, once it strikes when we least expect it, that it doesn’t rock our foundation, this by taking the rhythm out of our lives.
Although it’s clear that no one is completely impervious to rejection, and that no one can totally ignore it. On occasion, what rejection can reveal are the steps which needs to be taken, this to improve on something that’s not providing the desired results.
An author for instance, will usually be faced with numerous rejections from publishers, and may even consider some of their suggestions, this for improving the manuscript.
An actor who’s constantly rejected for numerous auditions, may eventually consider taking additional acting classes, while not realizing they may just not be suitable for the role.
A politician who’s constantly rejected from taking a stand, may carefully consider taking a different stand.
What Rejection Does Is Improves
Even if the rejection does happen to cause someone to try and improve, attempt a different approach, the fact remains that the value and the worth of that individual, isn’t really that much different from after they upgrading themselves, or their activity.
This is the exact reason why those who has a negligible sense of inner security or low esteem fail to see. As a result, it then behooves them to work on building up and then expanding on this sense of inner security.
On Track For Quicker Inner Growth
What everyone needs is to be wary of rejection in their life. This entails being self-aware and more mindful on a daily basis, this to prepare themselves for the negative consequences of life.
So each and every day, being aware of your emotions need to be observed, as it may be attacked at any moment. This includes what you tell yourself, how you’re planning to react to different situations. Knowing what your feelings are about the events that occur.
Once you get a better grasp on what goes on inside you, this at least for most situations, is because to become conscious of everything, it takes discipline and time to comprehend. You can then get a sense of where your inner security needs to be, where it needs tweaking.
Recognition Of Patterns
What you need is to see a pattern developing in your self talk, your reactions, your emotions, and your feelings. Also make sure that you take into account what your physical reactions are during these times.
Recognize if your breathing suddenly becomes more shallow and quickened, or your solar plexus begins to twist in pain.
What perhaps develops is a lump in your throat, as your blood pressure elevates. Always become consciously aware, not only to the pattern of your thoughts, but how your body reacts.
To Regulate Emotions
You’re mindset most likely situates on the issues of how you tend to make a lot of mistakes, or that you’re supposed to be perfect, or how incompetent you are, that you can never get things right. That others just don’t like you, and every other feeling that’s produced by being rejected.
What seeing a pattern does is helps you to counteract and correct it, this because on those occasions where you catch yourself reacting and establishing what it is, you’ll then be able to bring conscious awareness to it, this rather than knowing the reaction itself.
This way, you’ll be able to turn the thought, the reaction into something that’s more positive, more self-affirming, something that works together with your sense of security.
Once you begin this process, then observe how you begin to feel and act differently, this once you face another rejection. What this contributes to is another step towards the personal freedom that you’re seeking.