Emotional intelligence is the real-time management and judgment of your immediate feelings, emotions and mood. The reaction and response that you mindfully navigate and use, once faced with a situation. This is towards everyone and everything that you come in contact with, on a daily basis. It’s your subconscious attitude on how you make decisions, how you instinctively behave, while navigating through life, such as your work and social affairs.
There’s now more focus that’s placed on emotional intelligence, and how it translates into the context of the abstract social and working world, than any other measurement, such as IQ. Where emotional intelligence is mostly used, is during those times of stress such as during a job interview, or mingling in a party setting.
For many, what these stressful situations trigger, are a series of anxieties, which are peppered with negative emotions such as the fear of dejection or failure, which at times results in anger.
What you can do however, is fine tune your emotional intelligence by knowing, refining, and then improving certain areas of your life. This includes mood management, self motivation, and interpersonal expertise.
Managing Your Mood
This is the ability to manage and command your emotions under duress. Begin by recognizing which of your emotions, springs to the forefront of your thoughts and actions during this time.
When combined, what’s formed is your emotional operating system, as each influences the other. Your goal is making each of them work in unison, rather than against each other.
If your initial thoughts are. “This job performance appraisal is going to be brutal, and I’m going to suck,” does is increases your heart rate, which promotes defensive behavior.
So instead, if you tell yourself. “This is an excellent opportunity to learn how I can be more effective at my job,” will keep you calm and collected, while being more receptive to the evaluation.
Use your self-awareness, to remind yourself to breathe slower, which keeps you relaxed while allowing you to listen and pay attention. Managing your thoughts will allow you to command your behavior, this so you won’t say anything impulsive.
Generating Self Motivation
This is the ability to get yourself started on something on your own, an action that you take based on what you’ve learned.
To make it easier to get self motivated, act on a single situation or suggestion, and take it one step at a time. What doing so, will prevent you from becoming overwhelmed or defeated.
Begin by blocking off some time during the day, to do a specific self improvement oriented task, such as completing your paperwork on time on a set schedule, then make it a routine.
What you need is to improve your personal skills, when relating to others. Learn how to listen better, while taking criticism well, and not defensively. What will result, is you not suddenly interrupting or making excuses.
What you want, is to completely articulate someone’s thoughts, so you’ll be able to gain awareness into how you’re perceived by them. Asking for suggestions on how you can improve, can formulate an action plan.
If you don’t understand what’s being said, then ask for more information. Refrain from making evaluations or debating issues such as, “I disagree, you’re wrong.” Never become defensive, by using noneffective thoughts.
5 Signs Of High Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence can be improved upon, provided you know exactly how well yours is developed, while knowing which areas need improvement. Having high emotional intelligence includes:
1.) – Knowing Your Strengths And Weaknesses – A huge part of self-awareness, is being completely honest with yourself. This by knowing who you are, knowing where you excel, where you might struggle, and then accepting or improving on them.
An emotionally intelligent person, knows how to identify where their strength and weaknesses are, and will analyze how to work the most effectively within that framework.
2. ) – Always Motivated – How motivated you currently are, began from how ambitious and hard-working you were when in school, as a student, even if you weren’t rewarded for it.
If you are a self-starter who’s motivated, and you can focus on and dedicate your attention along with your energy towards the pursuit of your goals, then you have high emotional intelligence in this area.
3.) – You Like People – Do you absolutely love meeting new people. You also instinctively tend to ask a lot of questions, this immediately after you’ve been introduced to someone new for the first time.
If this is the case, what you’re displaying is having a certain degree of empathy towards others, which is thought to be one of the main components when it comes to high emotional intelligence.
4.) – You Know Why You Get Upset – We all experience bouts of emotional fluctuations, get mad, this during the day under various circumstances. Most often, we have no idea or understand what’s causing this sudden wave of anger or sadness.
When it comes to high emotional intelligence, it’s knowing where and how these types of negative emotions are activated, what triggers them. This means knowing why you react the way you do.
5.) – Staying Focused – Do you get easily distracted and can’t concentrate. You lose your focus on external stimuli, such as once someone enters a room, or you constantly check your email or Facebook every few minutes.
If so, what it’s doing is keeping you from functioning at your peak efficiency, which is your highest emotional intelligence level.
The Key To Emotional Intelligence
How important is high emotional intelligence, when it comes to your social, business or work success? There are certain company’s, who’ll hire their entire sales and marketing staff, based strictly on emotional competency testing.
The good news is, that it’s possible to improve your emotional intelligence, while it’s counterpart, intelligence quotient or IQ, is thought to be difficult to improve upon, especially increase.
It’s thought that emotional intelligence can be increased with deliberate practice, along with focused training.
What’s found effective to improve your emotional intelligence, is getting honest feedback, by someone who’s capable of doing so, such as a mentor. The biggest issue, being that most have no idea how others view them.